Noisy Sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2005
Noisy Sex
2
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 3:33pm
I am 23 years old and just started having sex three months ago. Sex is great, I really enjoy it. The problem is I enjoy it too much and one of my roommates has complained. I am not sure if my boyfriend and I are really THAT loud, but we do have a very thin wall between our rooms. I am very embarrassed and concerned about this. I am not sure if this is the type of thing someone can give advice about, but is there anything I can to try to be quieter while not sacrificing my sex life? I just wonder if there is way, other than smothering my face in a pillow at the right moment. I also think that part of the problem might be just that she doesn’t believe in premarital sex for herself and therefore is exaggerating my actions in her own mind, but I hate to make that assumption.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
In reply to: aliceb17
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 4:57pm
Well if the walls are as thin as you say, then there isn't much you can do about it except be highly aware of how much noise you are making, and make a strong attempt to control yourself. Otherwise you are restricted to smothering your face in a pillow. My partner has been known to get bruises on his shoulders from me biting him, or scratch marks from my nails as I grab some part of his body really hard in an attempt to stay quiet, but release that intensity in another form. In fact he currently has three scratches on one of his arms that have been there for over a month!

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2005
In reply to: aliceb17
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 5:17pm


First I would like to commend you on remaining abstinent for this long!! I also commend your roommate on her dedication to no premarital sex!! You go girl!!!!

It may be, seeing her dedication, that she is made to feel uncomfortable with any sounds of pleasure and/or sexual satisfaction you are receiving. It's not that she doesn't want the same, have the same needs, desires or urges, she's just still holding them at bay and your "sexual pleasure sounds" may cause her stress, distress, irritation, etc.
I would hate for her to cave on her decision, which I not only admire but respect. Not that it would be your fault, she's old enough to know it's ultimately her decision, but it may make it harder for her to hold out.
As for the sounds of joyful, fulfilling sex.....don't be embarrassed. I'm quite vocal at times myself....when the kids aren't at home, you just can't do that with the kids around. LOL!!! Course then again I don't have to be vocal to thoroughly enjoy sex, but it does feel good to be able to let go, doesn't it.
I would suggest an alternative place to have sex, to have sex when she isn't around or learn to control how loud you vocalize. I realize sometimes, maybe esp. when/if you reach O, it just comes out, but you can control how loudly. If you don't believe me wait 'til you have a baby and after hours of walking, rocking, nursing, etc. you finally get him or her to sleep and can finally be intimate w/your partner......you can be very quiet and still enjoy the sex to the fullest.
We must show respect for and be thoughtful of those we live with and you truly can do so without sacrificing your sex life.

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