Is this normal?
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| Sun, 12-04-2005 - 4:45pm |
Hi everyone. I've been thinking about this for awhile, and thought I could use your advice and wisdom.
I'm a 26 yr old female, and have been with my bf for over a year now. He is my first. In the beginning of our relationship, when we started having sex, we would probably do it about once a week. I only see him half the week, so on average, it was once a week.
Well, for the last six months or so, sometimes we have sex, some weeks we don't. Usually don't go more than two weeks without it.
However, I've noticed that our relationship has grown so much in the past six months. I am so comfortable with him, things are going awesome.
Even though we don't have sex as often as we used to, the sex we have now is 10 times better than before, and he can bring me to orgasm, which NEVER happened before.
I'm just worried because I read some of these message boards, and I see girls my age having sex with their significant others once a day, or 3-4 times a week, and I think that there's something majorly wrong with our relationship.
We are still very affectionate with eachother, and show physical attention to eachother without the sex part. You know, some weeks he's got a lot of things to do, and is tired at night, and other weeks, I've got a lot on my plate, and I'm just beat. However, like I said, the affection and love is more present than ever before.
I guess I'm letting other people's statistics determine the worth of our relationship. What do you think?
Thanks.

It sure is "normal"......for YOU and your b/f. There is NO normal when it comes to sex. If you're happy, and he's happy, and it sounds like you are both happy....then DO NOT worry about what other people are doing. First of all, take what you read with a grain of salt. Second, those people that are having sex all day every day probably have nothing else good in the relationship! Also, as you've found out, quality is a lot more important than quantity! (Don't give him all the credit for the orgasms.....he couldn't do it if you hadn't learned how to relax and allow it to happen!)
One reason it's better is because you're getting more comfortable with it. Even though sex is natural and normal, it takes a while to get relaxed about it, and let yourself go.
Sex is important to a relationship, but as you said, there is a LOT more going on in life, and again, those who make it 90% of their relationship probably don't have much more going for them. You don't see each other every day, you have outside stresses, and sometimes you just have OTHER things that have to come first.
When you've got more time, less stress, etc. you can always have sex more often, but for right now, it seems like you're both content, and THAT is what makes a relationship good.
I hate to tell you this, but there will always be stresses for most people. We learn to work around them! If the relationship is good, things will always work out!
Echoing what Dakine said.
Just this week I read an article on research that attributes specific body chemistry with the one year phenomenon you describe and so many experience.
Check out the Yahoo News article on the "Love Molecule" at http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051130/od_nm/love_molecule_dc