is this normal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2004
is this normal?
2
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 2:13pm
okay.. so my bf told me last night that he "can only stay hard w/ me on top for so long"... he says it feels good and he likes it but he can't stay hard very long... i thought he liked it A LOT the entire three months we've been dating?
is this normal? Should positions matter if he's hard once we start..shouldn't he stay hard until he finishes?.. is that normal for it to go soft. It's not like we do it a long time in that position and we don't use condoms (condoms sometimes make him loose it-- when we used to use condoms, now i'm on the pill)
so after that we changed to just conventional him bein on top (w/ a lil twist of course) and he got himself hard again (yeah, he had to get himself hard again) then put it in and he came within like two minutes?
I'm confused?
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: amyjo514
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 2:36pm

Well, it's not unusual for men or women to have a favorite position that they respond best in. But you seem a little doubtful he's being honest about his ability to keep it up in others you may like better. "Very long" for him, might be 5-10 minutes of active thrusting though.

But there's no reason why you MUST stay on top the whole time, you might just finish that way. However, he needs to remember that there are TWO of you to consider here and if he's performed just fine in other positions up to now, then he needs to consider your needs and preferences as well. It's not really fair to expect your partner to do all the "work" every time you have sex.

Obviously, this wouldn't even be an issue if YOU preferred woman on top, too.




Edited 7/18/2005 2:49 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2005
In reply to: amyjo514
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 2:56pm
There's something to this ... I am currently dating two women for some crazy reason -- just FWB situations basically -- and with one of them I just do not stay hard when she's on top. I don't know if it's the blood draining out of my penis or what, but when it's below me with me on top it usually gets rock hard again within a few seconds and stays that way through ejaculation. Really wouldn't worry about it, it sounds like your bf's system is fully functional. And agreed, condoms for whatever reason often make me lose it, I feel like my penis is suffocating or something.