Not attractive anymore?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
Not attractive anymore?
3
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 11:20pm
I'm beginning to think my husband doesn't find me attractive anymore. For the past couple months when we have sex, he doesn't cum. We don't have sex all the time, maybe 2 or 3 times a month, but I never had this problem before. I've been off work for a while and I'm afraid I put on some weight and now my guy isn't attracted to me anymore. I don't know what to do!?!?!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 11:29pm

Whether or not your husband finds you attractive has nothing to do with whether or not he ejaculates. IF he didn't find you "attractive", then he wouldn't even get an erection, or be able to perform.

I don't know what kind of relationship you have, but a man isn't going to be turned off by a few pounds, IF he loves his wife. Is 2-3 times a month the way it's always been, or is that something new?

Do you two talk to each other? Have you asked HIM what's going on? He may be having some physical problems that have nothing to do with you. Men get very "defensive" if they're having sexual problems, and many of them would rather give up on sex than go to a doctor to see what's wrong.

You two need to communicate, and start talking about what's happening. He's the only one who can tell you. If he's having a problem ejaculating, then suggest that he goes to a doctor.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 1:44am

Has your not working caused some financial burdens on him? IF you were previously a two-income family, then it's possible that he's experiencing difficulty because of this added stress, not your added pounds.

Most of the time when men have problems in bed, it actually has nothing to do with their partner at all. It's usually something very simple like added stress or anger/resentment over another matter not related to sex.

I would suggest that you two have a long heart to heart about your relationship and resolve any lingering issues then he needs to get a checkup to rule out any physical problems.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2005
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 12:50pm

I agree with Kat.

stress, especially financial stress is a huge libido crusher for men.

If this has just happened once, I would make a big deal about it. If it's happened 4 or 5 times I'd definitely bring it up.

John