Not Every Guy Can Do This????

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2006
Not Every Guy Can Do This????
23
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 12:17am

I was having a conversation with a few of my friends when one of them mentioned that she wished her husband would last longer sometimes. When I asked her why he doesn't just keep going until she is done, they all looked at me like I had lost my mind. She said, "Um Honey, once a man is done, that's it. He goes limp and it takes quite a while for him to get hard again."


Now, I realize that I have not had many partners. DH and I got married when we were both 20, so we learned what we know about sex from each other, books, and by hearing about things from other people and trying them out. Until today, I was unaware that not every man can

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 12:27am

No, not every man can keep his erection after he climaxes and ejaculates (yes, you use say those words here!). I don't think it's a matter of "learning how" either. They either can, or they can't. Aren't you lucky that yours can! Most men need at least a half hour or more before they can "go" again....some need hours!

It's unfortunate that your friends' partners just leave them hanging that way. Even if a guy is "finished" he can still orally or manually finish them.....and if a guy REALLY knows his way around a woman's body, he'll "finish" her during foreplay, so it won't matter if he doesn't last long enough during intercourse! A really good lover KNOWS it's "ladies first"! That's what foreplay is all about!

Most women don't have their orgasms from intercourse alone anyway! But if they get their motors started during foreplay, they can have several orgasms that way, and maybe even some during intercourse. Your friends need to talk to their partners...they're getting cheated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 6:36am

Adding to dakine101's comment, "No, not every man can keep his erection after he climaxes and ejaculates", I would have to say that for the men that can do this it is a skill which usually fades as they get older. Report back to us when your husband is in his thirties.

Per chance, is your husband of Italian descent? I once knew a barmaid who was quite promiscuous and she told me one evening that of all the men she had been with, it was always the Italians who maintained their erection after ejaculation. Being of Italian myself, I asked, "what, you mean other guys can't do that?" :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 7:34am

I don't know how common or uncommon it is.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 10:03am

I was married to an Italian.....I guess someone forgot to tell him about that!

Come on, Italians are just like other nationalities and races. There is NOTHING that is true of all of them.

Blacks aren't all huge, orientals aren't all small, and not all latins are great lovers!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 12:17pm
Maintaining the erection through and after ejaculation is definitely a matter of knowledge that could easily be stumbled upon. There are a number of inputs that feed into the ejaculatory cycle, and by disrupting or negating one or more of these inputs you can control the timing of the male ejaculation. For instance, if the male merely keeps his legs together, keeping the knees within an inch of each other, ejaculation will be put off indefinitely. A better way that I found is keeping my eyes open while concentrating on my lovers visual and auditory responses. Once you return to the normal position and mind set for ejaculation it will come to fruition. For those who have stumbled on to some of these manipulatory methods, congratulations, for the rest get started. Remember practice makes perfect. Take Care, DS
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 12:26pm

I will agree with you on the ejaculation part. It's most definitely something that a man can learn to do.

As far as the erection is concerned....How can you control the "hydraulics" involved? If you could "will it" to stay, then it should be just as easy to "will it" to go away, and no man that I know of can do either. Only time will make it go away, and there's no way of controlling it to stay, or every man would learn how. Well, maybe Priapus, but I don't think he enjoyed it very much!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2006
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 12:37pm

Well, he will be 30 next month. I don't

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 2:02pm
Your statements concerning the "willing it to stay or go" are totally incorrect. My desire to please and excite women far beyond common accepted norms has put me on a neverending quest to find more and better ways of doing it. Controlling my body in the sexual arena is extremely pleasing and exciting to the women, and I have extended my knowledge far beyond what I have given you. The primary reason that total control is such a mystery lies in the fact that most males are very self-serving creatures and the desire to go beyond his normal abilities is not all that desirable. Now, to answer your question on willing it to go away, let's look to the mental side of the sexual equation. The male can will it to go down, but, if the male would allow his mind-set and visual image to totally go non-sexual, say, to immerse himself in a new car he has seen, and totally negate any sexual thoughts or visuals, I guarantee "Little Willie" will take a dive in a matter of seconds. Trust in what I say. I do indeed have total second nature control over the timing of my ejaculation and have not lost my erection at ejaculation in over 20 years. Feel free to contact me if you have more questions. Take Care, DS
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 4:57pm

Well, "doctor".....I certainly hope when my man is going down on me he's thoroughly enjoying what he's doing in a VERY sexual way......and he's not thinking about the new car he's thinking of buying! That's insulting as well as COLD!

And yes, very often when he's going down on me, "little willie" (???) might take a dive, but comes back to attention when needed, and if he doesn't, a little TLC from me will bring him back!

Your description of your "abilities" makes you sound like you'd make a great "escort" or "porn star".....Sex on Demand! In a real relationship, I wouldn't want anything so "mechanical"! Are you as "in control" of the rest of your life as you are in sexual matter?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 10:17am

My husband is Italian and he has never been able to maintain an erection after ejaculation (and I've known him since he was 22). In fact, none of the other men (who were young) could either. Come to think of it, I have never heard a woman say that any man that they had been with could accomplish this feat.

I'm not doubting that it's true....but are you sure that he's ejaculating the first time? Men can fake orgasms. Also, maybe he's only having half-orgasms so he's not completely spent (much like a woman's orgasm can sometimes flop midway).

In any event, yes, I'd say he's rare, because for most men, when they're done, they're done.

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )

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