Not feeling anything during sex
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Not feeling anything during sex
| Mon, 01-01-2007 - 10:33am |
So here it is: I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, we started having oral and what not about 2 years ago. It feels absolutely amazing and I had orgasm the first time and frequently ever since. The problem is when we have sex I do not feel a thing, usually he's inside me and I don't even know it. He says the sex is amazing, but he has yet to come and I just lay there, no matter what we do I feel nothing. Its not that I'm not turned on because I am, he's very attractive and great at other things. Why am I not feeling like we're having sex and what can I do about it? Its starting to tear us apart.

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well, this is very emotionally distressing for me. i never thought about getting a vibrator mainly because i still live with my parents and my mom occassionally goes through my room, and there is a great chance that she would find a vibrator.
i am also curious as to how exactly the vibrator is going to help me feel something when i am being penetrated. will it help me enjoy a man thrusting inside of me?
and it doesn't matter what position i am in, i still feel nothing at all. having an orgasm is out of my league right now because i haven't even learned the basics.
My sense is that you believed what most girls do in the beginning...that intercourse will be the most pleasurable experience you'll ever know. Uh...no.
Learn to pleasure yourself with your own fingers first and then you'll be more likely to enjoy sex with a partner. Because, unless you know what you need to feel pleasure, you won't be able to ask for what you want from your partner.
And why can't your BF keep the vibrator? It doesn't have to a monstrosity either. There are very small discreet vibrators that can provide clitoral stimulation during intercourse.
yes, lol. that is what i often believed growing up, that eventually when i have sex it will be amazing. i didn't expect my first time to be fantastic, but i had expectations that it would defintely get better. i had no idea that sex would be this way, no one EVER talks about not feeling any pleasure during sexual intercourse. it's almost unheard of when i ask other girls about it. they DO feel something.
i don't like to be fingered either. i remember when my ex boyfriend was peforming oral sex on me, it felt amazing (as usual) and then suddenly i started to feel this discomfort that got worse and worse, then i realized he was fingering me...so being fingered is just not my thing. even when i masturbate i often stimulate my clitoris. i've been doing this since i was 6 or 7. this hasn't helped my sex life much though.
Hey
Rule one: just because girls say they feel something during sexual intercourse, does not necessarily mean they do. Some girls won't admit to feeling nothing because they are afraid of being the only one, being weird or not doing something right.
Rule two: most women take longer to orgasm than men. So unless you have a man that can last for hours, then you probably may need to do it via foreplay, afterplay, manually. Although you do get the odd man that can last for hours, but rarely.
Rule three: before you think about having sex again, explore your body. I'm not just talking about your clitoris, g spot or anywhere down there. I'm talking about your nipples, him kissing the back of your neck, spine etc. There are nerve endings in these body parts that can make you gagging for sexual intercourse.Knowing your body, and what turns you on, is the key to unleashing orgasm otherwise you may as well not try to because you could be pushing all the wrong buttons.
Rule four: lower the expectations. If you don't push yourself to orgasm so much, you may relax and actually enjoy it. You may be experiencing pain because you are tense, or not lubricated enough.
rule five: change positions. Take control for a bit, then let him take control, when in the missionary position, place a cushion underneath your back/bum, so it raises your pelvic muscles, which increases clitoral stimulation. Try it somewhere else other than a bed, a shower perhaps, and while he enters you with your back facing him, use the showerhead to stimulate yourself.
I hope all of this helps, but remember relax and try to enjoy it.
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