Now THAT was an Eye Full!
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Now THAT was an Eye Full!
| Mon, 06-25-2007 - 8:33pm |
Just a warning, if you get queasy easy, you might want to stop reading here. If you have a great sense of humor, read on....
Recently, when DH and I were having sex, we were in the "T" position. I had a massive g-spot orgasm, but we continued to have sex. As he continued to thrust, the ejaculate began "splashing" up to my face, eyes included. I seriously wanted to laugh, but I didn't dare. He was really close to his orgasm, and I didn't want to break his concentration (LOL).
I did tell him about it while we were basking in the afterglow, and it has provided for some rather amusing conversation :-D
Anyone else have any amusing sex stories to share?






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I can't actually think of anything in particular right now, but I know we have alot.
I understand exactly what you are saying there LOL.
This past weekend after a few days without my honey being home we were having an awesome time making up for the past few days. I experienced a little of that splashing thing going on then too. But he had my legs up against his chest and his hands in my hair pulling (yes there was hair pulling going on and I LIKE IT) and he kept pulling my head harder and harder toward his chest all the while pumping away. I have to admit it felt good but even though I am flexible I was starting to feel a bit like a pretzel lol. So it got intense enough that I said 'Wait, Wait" and about that time he started cumming and said 'i can't wait' by this time I am laughing saying 'no, its the position' but he had already let go of the sides of my head by then. He said 'sorry, i couldn't wait' and I am laughing trying to explain that it was fine (this was after over an hour of very active sex) he was just bending me a little too hard. Darn that man is strong. It was all fun though *grin*. He's making me more flexible, I do know that!
Edited 6/26/2007 10:53 am ET by tami-kins
I have two funny stories...
My BF of 10 years and I worked in the same place (my dad actually worked there, too). One night I was visiting him when he was on the night shift and we decided to get naughty in the paper stock room. I was giving him a BJ and when he came he actually shot his cum across the room and hit a wall. It was pretty funny.
Another story is from when I was in college. He and I were in a doggy position on the floor going crazy. He pulled out to cum and the cum hit my roommate's backpack! We cleaned it up quickly, but I have to admit I never looked at the backpack the same after that!
Misty,
That sounds so hot!
Have you ever heard of a VART? I never did until recently and now it seems it is happening to me ALOT!
It is a Vaginal Fart. The past few times when going at it hard doggie style then we move to switch postions, loud noises come out from down there. I am still not sure if dh noticed but I did and tried to pretend it was nothing. I guess it comes from air being forced in and then released. It actually feels kind of good.. LOL...
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It's also called a queef, and yes it is caused from the air.
I'm really glad you posted this on here. A lot of women write in because they are embarrassed by them. For me, if it ever happens, we usually end up laughing about it eventually.
my partner in the siggy exchange
Queef!
See it is never too late to learn something new! Thanks!
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Why is it always BJ stories that are the funniest! Hitting the wall I can sorta relate to.
A long time ago I went to Disney w/ my DH, then livin bf) and his mom. She wanted to take us for a x-mas present. We had a separate room from her. Well, this one afternoon I was giving dh a bj. He was sitting in a chair in the middle of the room. I was vell into the act itself when there is this loud knock at the door! It was his mom! She was knocking really loud and saying hello are you in there. It scared the crap outta me. I was " OH MY GOD! Your MOm!" I had stopped w/ erect penis in hand just as he was about to shoot. He shot I saw it go strait up in the air! We were both laughing so hard and we couldnt find it to wipe it up! I ran to bath room, dh pulled himself together and let mom in. Dh and I couldnt stop looking for "it " while she was standing there talking to us. We just hoped she didnt find it. And I hope Disney's house keeping staff is very thurough cleaning rooms!
The second one also in volves dh and his mother! LOL! Nothing gross...well sort of...
Dh and I were house sitting for his mom when she went on a cruise and she got the dates wrong and was home earlier than expected. Dh and I had finished having sex when the phone wrang and he heard the answering machine pick up a call he needed to get. He runs down stairs naked and is on the sofa talking when his mom walks in the front door! He grabbed a throw pillow and covered is crotch. His mom just stood there like what the hell?!? DH quickly got off pnoe and asked his mom to turn around so he could run back up stairs and get back to "the shower" he was getting ready to take when phone rang. Afterward his mom went to put the pillow back and I hear her yell "eww! There's dick juice on my pillow! Gross! LOL! I was crying -laughing at that remark. And she threw the pillow away! Dont blame her for that either..
haha o m g that is hilarious, dick juice! how akward that must have been for her!!!
we were on vacation, with a lot of relatives staying in the same very small, one bathroom, not nearly sound-proof house of a relative.. my bf and i had stayed back from one of their outtings. they went out a lot and we decided to sit this one out and had the place to our selves. we were there for two weeks and it was half way through the second and we had not had sex because it felt so wrong to do it in their home, we were 16, especially in the person who was nice enough to give up their room's bed. not to mention it was a squeeky bed and you could practically hear some one breathing from one end of the house to the other. so we decided to get it on while we had the chance. i was on top, and as he was about to cum i was told, get off get off! (we werent using condoms but were on birth control) and i guess because of the lack of getting off and the fact that we left it to the very last second to 'pull out' he managed to shoot himself in the eye.
my partner in the siggy exchange
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