Number of partners

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2005
Number of partners
15
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 1:51pm

My BF & I are on opposite ends of the "experience" spectrum. I know I've had WAY fewer partners than the average 30-something still-single woman, but I'm curious as to what exactly average is, especially since I think his number is higher than the norm. I don't have a problem with his past -- that's what it is, the past. I'm just wondering how many partners most guys have during their single years and is my guesstimate of average really that far off.

So, if it's not too personal a question, I would appreciate it if you would please respond to my post with your age range (under 25, 26-35, 36-45, 45+ will work) and how many people you have had sex with in your life?

Thanks everyone!!
vfclead

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 2:09pm
45-and will work, hmm lets see I might be the least but I have had sexual relations with at least four women that I can recall. Most of the relations were farely long and not overnighters.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 2:14pm

I don't think there is an average, it would all depend on the individual.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 5:01pm
I'm 23 and I've had five partners since I became sexually active at 18.

 


 


Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 5:18pm
I'm with Tish. There really is no average. I've had many experiences but only two partners when it came to intercourse and I'm in my 40's. My DH had even less. I was his first and only sexual partner when it came to intercourse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 11:52pm

You may get numbers, but you're not going to get averages......because it takes from zero to infinity to get an average.

What you're really asking about is "experience" rather than numbers. Experience doesn't equate knowledge. A man might have been with 50 women, and not have a clue about how to be a good lover. Another man might have been with 2 or 3 women, but he's learned from his experiences, and he's a great lover.

Your (perceived) lack of experience might have taught you a lot more about sex than your b/f's (perceived) abundance of experience. Every new partner is a new learning experience, but I've come across many men that never learned anything from numerous partners.

Either way, you can both learn from each other. It doesn't matter what your previous partners wanted or needed, his wants and needs will be different......and no matter how many previous partners he's had, you are different from every one of them, and he will have to learn how to please YOU. Good sex includes a LOT of communication.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 6:22am

Age: 45+

Number of partners (intercourse): 10

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2005
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 1:00pm
40-something. What do you mean by 'had sex with?'
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 2:17pm

I highly recommend you drop the subject completely. Of course you'll always wonder how many partners each of you has had, but when it comes down to it, does it really matter?

My bf and I "accidentally" had that conversation about a month ago. We've been together for 6 months. I love him and plan on marrying him.

Well, one night we're sitting at the bar, and both VERY drunk. He brought it up, asked how many guys I slept with. I told him to go first. (He's 5 years younger, so I thought I'd beat him). He told me he'd been with 11. Which is the same as me and I told him so. And we sat there pretty shocked at eachother. I think we had both underestimated. So here we are sitting there, thinking about what sluts we are. But whatever. I was just surprised because he's 5 years younger than me - but then again, he is a guy. So...then he tells me it's ok cause they were mostly one night stands. (gee, thanks for sharing, i really wanted to know that). Believe me the thought of your partner screwing 10 other people is not something fun to think about, let alone that they were random girls. (And when you're drunk.) So anyway, for about an hour we didn't say much, we were both kinda irritated and depressed. But then we finally said, "Ok, we love eachother, so let's not worry or talk about the past anymore." We agreed to move on, and haven't brought it up since.

But sure I think about it once in a while, him and all his one-nighters, and I get a nice ache in my stomach, but then I remind myself that I wasn't exactly an angel either. The fact is I love him the past is past.

Sorry for the rambling, but I guess my point is that now that I know, I wish I didn't. So if I were you, I'd let it go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 3:44pm
As I've said in a previous post, I've had five partners (including my current one). He has had nine, including me. But he is also four years older than me. In saying that though, he lost his virginity a couple of years later than I did. And two of his times he had sex with virgins. No big deal. But he had obviously learnt a thing or two from his experiences, because he sure did know what he was doing when he was with me the first time we were together! And when I jokingly had him up about it he joked back that he had no idea what I was talking about and that it was just pure luck that he got it right lol. And yet, for all his experience, he says without a doubt that I am the best he's ever had, because I actually know what I'm doing. Not the first time I'd heard that, but it was good to finally be with someone that knew what HE was doing.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2005
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 4:10pm

Whoo -- didn't mean to stir so many pots. Truly, I'm not worried about his previous experiences, whether I measure up or any of the other things people have suggested I might really be thinking about. I firmly believe our pasts are our pasts and not an indication of the future.

My post was 1oo% curiosity based -- how many partners have other people had in their lives, what is the "norm" or "average" in our society. The curiosity is a result of a conversation my BF and I had and wondering whether his impression of the "norm" in our society is closer to reality than mine is. Nothing more, I promise.

Thank you all for your responses and your concern -- it is always appreciated!

vfclead

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