Number of Partners
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Number of Partners
| Wed, 09-29-2004 - 6:27am |
How many is too many partners in a lifetime for women? Are there stats on the average number of partners per women versus men? Do the experiences (long term relationships vs. one night stands) make a difference in someone's perspective?

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There are people who would say that two is too many. There are others who've probably lost count. Whether your numbers are 5, 10, 50 or 100, you can't go back and change it, and whatever your past experiences were, they've made you what you are today. Numbers mean nothing.
Its my contention that if I am going to enter into a commited relationship with an individual, Im entitled to know about their past. If they dont feel its appropreate to tell me then they may be hiding something, or maybe are embarrassed to admit they acted that way. In either case Its my right to know so that I know what kind of person Im falling for. Of course there are variables involved. examples..how long ago did this all take place, any long term relationships since etc.
http://my.webmd.com/content/article/72/81710.htm?z=2953_00000_0000_f1_09
I grew up in the "free love" generation, so numbers were expected to be high for both men and women. It wasn't something that was ever spoke about so it wasn't used to determine character. We considered it private information, and no one's business.
So what you're saying is that if you met a great woman, decided she was the one for you, if she then told you she went thru a period of "experimentation", had a lot of one-night stands (possibly hoping they wouldn't BE one night only) that would be a deal breaker? If you know her well enough to want to commit to her......you couldn't do that because she's had too many partners, in your estimation? What you're saying is that people don't learn from their mistakes, if indeed they WERE mistakes?
I've never even had a man ask me how many partners I've had. I'm an adult, WELL over the age of consent, I was married for 20 years...and divorced for a lot longer. It's a given......I've had multiple partners. Does that make me not worthy of a good man eventually? I may have had multiple partners, and some of them weren't "relationships", but when I was IN a relationship, I never so much as LOOKED at another man.
It can be a two edged sword. If I met Mr. Wonderful, and he wanted numbers and details, it would be a deal breaker for me. Because it doesn't matter what I did in my past, all that matters is what I do in THIS relationship.....and I would never do anything that would hurt him or the relationship.
Also, why is it "cool" for a guy to have all the sex he wants......that makes him "experienced", but the same doesn't hold true for a woman?
Not disagreeing with you, just trying to understand why you feel a person can't be sexually active at one point in life, and then become a loving AND faithful partner. You COULD look at it as "they got it out of their system"!
No doubt, as you said, some people are "messed up" by their past, but they were messed up to start with, I'm sure.
If a person wont reviel their past then there is a problem...a relationship is based on honesty. If the "past" was a long time ago then it is definately in the past.. they have had time to change and find out whats really important to them... More recent behavior is more of a true indicator.
I am one who learned from my mistakes, so is my darling wife...I konw its possible to learn from mistakes..but many dont. Read the triangle posts ..shes one example of what im talking about. Its not the fact that people have many many sexual partners that is the problem..its the additude, life style and all the wrong messiages sent and learned by the activity.
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martinisnsushi - living the good life since 1963
CL Redbook "Get Inside His Head"
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martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!
But take a person that is in their mid thirties or even older and they are still jumpimg from bed to bed ..only after lust..thats a different situation altogether in my eyes. to me there is a personality flaw there,
You mean a personality flaw like maybe they enjoy sex but haven't found the right partner yet?
I think the "damaged"
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martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!
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