Number of Partners

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Number of Partners
40
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 6:27am
How many is too many partners in a lifetime for women? Are there stats on the average number of partners per women versus men? Do the experiences (long term relationships vs. one night stands) make a difference in someone's perspective?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 12:58am
Ho boy, I sure agree with you there. There's no denying this is one sick puppy!

But, playing Devil's Advocate......I have to wonder if somewhere down the road ms. wildflower will have a revelation and grow up. Nah, I guess not.......not when her attitude about things other than sex is so mysogenistic.

Ok, you win this one darlin'!

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 2:58pm
well my point wasnt to win, just show that some people who have lots of partners are maybe doing it , looking for something, they may never find.

Not all people who sleep around, are completely with out morals like that gal.

A poster stated that there is nothing wrong with a person who likes sex, and is not currently in a relationship, having all the sex they want with multiple partners. ..I guess my point here is, try explaning that to a person you fall in love with who strongly believes otherwise

Again, I dont think people who sleep around alot, for the most part, are not doing it just because they like sex...It runs a lot deeper than that.(in most cases)But most would never admit it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 3:18pm
I would have to say 10 or more... I have slept with over 50 men, not that I'm bragging. It's quite embarrassing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 3:25pm
I go to a mainly male website called askmen and they have message boards. They just discussed this topic like a week ago.. On there almost 100% of the men said they wouldn't want to be with a woman who had more than 5 partners because to them they think that it shows that a woman has little to no self worth and that she is a sl@t.

(I am not saying I agree just letting you know what men say on their message board)

anyway, one of the women posted on that message board and said something like: isn't it a double standard to tell women they can't have no more than 5 but a man can have lots and lots of women?

well the men all came back and said they would be with a girl who had more than 5 but they wouldn't consider her marriage material. It seems like *most* men want a woman who has respected her body and hasn't been off screwing everyone in town. Plus, it seems like the younger a girl is when she has sex, and the larger # of partners she has had, the more likely she suffers from low self esteem and is probably missing a father figure in her life - this is from an article I read, I will post the link as soon as I find it.

Whereas men can have a large # of partners and perhaps not have self esteem issues, but other reasons for sleeping around -- trying to fit in with friends or like the other article suggested, they are wired differently from women and care more about quantity than quality.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2003
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 6:42pm
Well...those men are hypocrites. Sorry, but no matter what, if they want women who respect their bodies, then they should expect the same of themselves. If they feel that someone who sleeps around is a slut, then they're sluts themselves. Amazing how they can consider themselves marriage material, though. Hopefully they'll meet the woman of their dreams and when it comes time to fess up, she'll dump him for having too many partners. ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 8:50pm
These are probably the same type of guys who

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 5:02am
To me, its not the number,its the "why so many? its the mind set and personality type.

I dont buy the "its about the sex, and Im not attatched" line.Its about ego,lack of self esteem, justifying self worth,filling whats lacking,whatever. Its not just about the sex...not that simple. Many of us were single and unattatched..but we didnt sleep with 20 other people.Many of these people were young and immature, and as they matured, they found out whats really important. The people who never changed the behavior are the ones who are normally a relationship nightmare.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2003
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 6:06am
I believe that two of the regular male posters on this board alone had indicated that they had MANY partners. One was Westridge at 35 he had 25+ partners(including one-night-stands). Iscott claimed to be a prior bad boy. Of course *I* don't know either of these men personally, but I do know that they are now and have been in the past capable of LTR's and they seem to be well adjusted men. What's confusing me, is you claim that if someone who is a healthy, well-adjusted individual, who has come out of a LTR, and happens to have sex outside of a relationship over the course of a few years before they end up in another relationship, is doing it because of "... ego,lack of self esteem, justifying self worth,filling whats lacking." You don't feel it's possible that they're simply enjoying sex for sex? I would probably guage personality more based upon whether or not a person has NEVER had a LTR(age appropriate), then by how much sex they've had.

Maybe the key here is you're gauging personality using their numbers to indicate if they "never changed their behavior" at all. It seems you believe that once they've discovered relationship sex, that they should never revert back to anything but(anything less is unacceptable to you). That anybody who has sex outside of a relationship(after maturing) lacks self-esteem, is justifying their self-worth, has a big ego, and is trying to fill a void. I know slews of people who are virtuous and only have/had relationship sex, and who possess the qualities you mention. No matter how many partners a person has or doesn't have, won't change that.




Edited 10/1/2004 6:11 am ET ET by life_is_but_a_dream

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 6:20am

I don't see how you can put a number on how many is *too many*, where do you draw a line.

Stuck on earth

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 6:38am

Greentea, we`ll agree to disagree here. Ive seen too many people whos past experiences really have them messed up still today. Some people can learn from their past and some cant. Many people I know who were very permiscous never learned from it. It only skewed their ability to differentiate love from sex.


Now hump, Two

Stuck on earth