numerous partners

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
numerous partners
15
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 12:12pm
Ladies or Gentlemen, would it , or does it bother you if your mate confessed to you they had been with ,say 15 others before you? Does it bother you to know that that many people have enjoyed what you now consider sacred? Is it a positive or a negative effect on a relationship? Or should it /does it even matter? Pleases dont turn this into "they should have kept it a secret or lied about it" issue. Assume you were friends before lovers, and you were told in confidence as a friend.

Pages

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
In reply to:
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 4:51pm
sugar ..what if your husband had an affair and he said ..it was just sex..what would your attitude be then?
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
In reply to:
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 4:58pm
lol thank you tiana,I like it too...By the way did you play softball
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to:
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 5:02pm
3rd base baby! All throughout elementary, middle, high school and throughout my twenties for 5 years. It's in my blood! Also played a lot of volleyball. Setter.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to:
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 5:12pm
To me it doesn't matter at all.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to:
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 10:16pm
Doesn't matter to me at all what my fiance did before I was a part of his life.

He has guessed that he has slept with about 30ish women. Doesn't bother me a bit. I have been with 11 guys and 1 girl plus him.

It someone's number is not something you are comfortable with, that's fine. ***BUT*** It is NOT okay to hang someone's past over their head, punish them, manipulate them by making them feel bad (slutty), and use their past as a method of controlling someone.

Making the past a current issue in a relationship is a very quick way to ruin a relationship. If you find it odd or slutty, then you guys may not have the same feelings about sex, morality and what being intimate with someone really means.

I guess there would be a number for me that would be a "whoa, too high." For me, that would be, I don't know, 50ish? Depends on age, the situation, who that person once was, who they are now, if they regret their choices or if they would still be on that random screwing path if not in a relationship.

All in all, you can't change someone's past. Its done. If you aren't comfortable with and it and can't get over thinking about someone else screwing your SO then you need to be honest about that and move on.

Pages