Odd question

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Odd question
7
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 1:02pm
Good afternoon everyone - I don't know how to pose this question except just to say it...How much should your 'first time' hurt? And past the inital uncofortableness (a real word??) of insertion should it continue to hurt? The reason I'm asking is this past weekend my boyfriend and I were about to have intercourse and it just hurt so bad, we had to stop. Am I psyching myself out thinking it's a much bigger deal than it is and therefore making it hurt worse. Or should I be concerned? Thanks your help with this very intimate situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: annarenee77
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 1:21pm
There should not be a lot of pain if any if you are ready for it.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: annarenee77
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 3:11pm
Being comfortable and relaxed is a very big part of being able to have sex without pain. If you are relaxed and aroused the muscles will be relaxed and you will be lubricated. That will go a long way to making it easier and less painful.

Unfortunately it's not easy to relax when you are having sex for the first time. Foreplay and taking your time is the solution. A bottle of lubricant is very useful. But the key is to relax and be comfortable - easier said than done unfortunately! :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: annarenee77
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 3:31pm
Agree with the others.....it shouldn't be that painful! Preparation (foreplay), lubrication, and relaxation are the keys to comfortable and pleasurable sex. Even if you're experienced, and have been sexually active for years.....without those three things, it will not be comfortable.

You have control over foreplay and lubrication, but it's pretty hard to relax the first few times.....and being nervous will definitely cut down on lubrication and will prevent the vaginal muscles from being loose enough to accept a penis.

So, take lots of time for foreplay.....have some lubricant handy, and just try. There's no need to continue if it's painful, because that will just make you that much MORE nervous the next time. Relax.....and if it doesn't work.....just stop, and try again another time. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you for it......it doesn't HAVE to happen today.

Be careful with the lubricant......if you use too much, it can get very sloppy....a little goes a long way! Enjoy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
In reply to: annarenee77
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 5:55am
my first time hurt for a few minutes then everything was fine, although for the next few weeks whenever we had sex it did hurt for a couple minutes, i too was concerned so i put on a discussion on here, and everyone said the same as they have to you. The thing is to be lubricated and feel comfortable. I found after about 3 weeks of having sex the pain stopped alltogether.

hope this helps xSx

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
In reply to: annarenee77
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 2:53pm
My first time hurt quite a bit, and I thought I was relaxed. But we didn't use any lube, so that was probably the problem. I also bled for a few days, but that is usually pretty normal. I would recommend a lot of lube and have him go slow.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2004
In reply to: annarenee77
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 7:59pm
The way I can describe the pain is as if someone is pinching your inside. For me it did hurt quite a bit and it continued to hurt the first couple of times. After that, it got better!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
In reply to: annarenee77
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 5:24pm
When I lost my virginity, I was ready to lose it, and it still hurt. It is hard to completely relax when doing something you've never done before. We didn't use lubrication (which I highly recommend), so the experience was less than enjoyable. I bled for a few days afterwards, and even the 2nd time still hurt a little. But after that things went uphill quickly. So take it slow, use a lot of lube, and make sure you are turned on before he just rams it in there. ;) Maybe he could just start with a finger or two, also. Just a thought.