Oh my god! Another situation!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
Oh my god! Another situation!
11
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 8:37pm
Wow am I just full of sex problems, but this one is BAD!!! I may be the worst mother in the world after last night! Last night well after our daughter had gone to bed, my husband and I began to have sex. We actually had vaginal intercourse as we are trying for our second baby now (after last night I may not deserve one). Fairly routine stuff, and after quite a while my husband came into me. I figured we'd probably go to sleep after that, but as I was beggining to doze off my husband told me he was ready again and said he wanted anal as he had already come in me for the day. He decided he wanted to do it in what I consider a very awkward position. He had me on my knees in the middle of the bed, and then with my head flat on the pillow so basically my butt was straight up in the air. As soon as he penetrated my ass, he began very hard and fast. At one point Im pretty sure he was completely off the bed as he began his thrusts, and was throwing all his weight into me. I usually stay fairly quiet during sex when my daughter is slepping, but was thrusting me SO hard at points there was enough pain I let a few screams out. He also has recently began talking pretty dirty during sex and was saying things like "your ass is so tight"... "Im going to come in your ass soon", and "keep your ass up so I can pound it". Well... onto the horrible part. After about fifteen minutes of this he came, quite loudly, and got off of me. He immediately laid down facing the head board, but I sat up and there she was!!! Oh my god. Just speechless staring at us. My husband claims he locked the door, but he had gone to the bathroom after the first session, and he obviously didnt lock it the second time. After trying to explain to her what we were doing was natural and all mommies and daddies do it, you know all that stuff, she still wouldnt really say anything. What should I say to her???? My god! There is a good chance she witnessed most of it, if not all! She is 6. PLEASE OFFER ADVISE!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:18pm
I very much doubt that her having walked in on you and your husband expressing your love for each other will have traumatized her for life. It's happened to all parents at some point. Just be more careful about making sure the door is locked from now on.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:20pm

Calm down!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2006
Sat, 08-04-2007 - 2:44am

Hi

I wouldn't worry like the other members said. You did your job by talking
to her that's all you can do. I understand how you feel i have a 4yr. old
and she found our sex book with vivid pics of postions and stuff i was in
shock i didn't know what to do so i didn't make a deal out of it because
she's to young and i know she'll forget. Like I said tho you did all you
can . Don't beat your self up!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Sat, 08-04-2007 - 7:10pm

This happens to a lot of people. Many people have stories about having walked in on their parents. Especially at the age of 6, most of them seemed to be most concerned that Daddy was hurting Mommy. I think kids get more warnings about Daddy hitting Mommy than they get information about sex. She might have been worried that he was being a bully and hurting you.

Aside from that, as the others said, don't worry. It seems to be a fairly normal part of growing up. At some point, kids find out about sex. They learn a little bit at a time, not all of it all at once. In your case, she has no idea what she saw. She doesn't think, "I saw my parents having anal sex!" because she doesn't even know what sex was. As long as she knows that you were having fun and that it is a private family thing that you don't talk about to other people, that should be enough. Don't make a big deal, don't get upset at her, don't apologize. If she asks more questions, answer only what she asks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 3:10pm

>>>Just remember, you're someone's DD and you grew up to be treated this way<<<

What is that statement supposed to mean anyway?? Treated to great sex with her loving husband? If that's her daughters fate then I say Hallelujah....more women should be having great sex with their husbands!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 3:13pm

If your little girl even remembers what she saw, I think she will grow up to know that she witnessed her parents having sex. If you raise her with a healthy outlook toward sex, she will have a realization that "Mommy and Daddy" love each other.

At the age of 6, I seriously doubt that she has a knowledge about different types of intercourse. Sex can look scary in any position or during any type of encounter. If she doesn't seem to want to talk about it, it's very likely that she thinks nothing of it, and your explanations will just further confuse her if anything. If she seems to be having problems understanding what she saw, then she will probably display that through different types of behavior. Just keep an eye on her actions, and if you feel she is confused, ask her if she wants to talk about "what she saw". Ask her questions and let her tell you what she thinks instead of placing any notions in her head.

I definitely wouldn't beat myself up about this if I was you. Things like this usually have a way of working themselves out on their own.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 3:25pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 4:48pm
I was shocked to see that there was a discussion of the fact that this was anal sex she saw. A six year old isn't going to even know what kind of sex it was actually. It would look so similar to vaginal sex that noone who wasn't right there would know the difference. The kid was probably just afraid daddy was hurting mommy. Once she knows that daddy WASN'T hurting mommy she'll be fine. Ask her if she has any questions and answer them as truthfully as you can. Kids learn a lot more about sex away from home than you may think, even at six or seven. They all tell each other when they see their parents doing it after all!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 5:32pm

Be thankful she is only 6 and will likely not remember anything very soon if you don't make a big deal out of it. When my son was 7 an older friend told him "all about sex"...that a penis went inside a vagina and he was so upset saying, I will never do that! I told him that when a mommy and a daddy love each other it is a way of showing that and if he never want to do it that was ok. (grin)



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 3:57pm

LOL - Our college age son came home from school last semester and walked in on us in the same position (DW with hr butt in the air giving me a great BJ). He was more a lot more embarassed than we were, but you can bet he doesn't even walk into that section of the house without shouting "hellooo!!!" first.

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