Is this OK

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Is this OK
52
Sun, 05-09-2004 - 4:31pm
My BF is a great guy. It's just that sometimes he does things that I'm not sure is OK.He warned me from the beginning that he likes a woman that doesn't restrict him sexually. S

She should like everything.In front of his friends he tells them that I like it up the ass and then he reaches into my panties and sticks his finger in it and then makes his friend's smell it.He also wants me to strip for them.Is this OK or normal?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Sun, 05-09-2004 - 4:39pm
You're joking right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Sun, 05-09-2004 - 6:27pm
If he does it and you don't say anything anbout it and let him continue, then you must think it's alright. Personally you bf is an a.., but hey thats only my opinion.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 1:50am
"Great guy," huh? Well, judging from what you described, I guess you think that a guy who treats you like a piece of meat in front of his friends is great. I don't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 6:34pm
No way! That is terrible! I could see him bragging to his friends that you like it up the butt, but not in front of you. And honestly, my husband has done some pretty wild things, but that is just gross. Are you joking? My husband, too, does not want to be sexually restricted in any way AND he has asked me to go topless (not strip) when a couple of his associates have been over. I can't. And I have said No. They will push the envelope as far as possible, but you have to speak up as I am learning.

And don't let him try to manipulate you into doing something else. When I said No to going topless in front of his associates, later that night as we were in bed, he was all lovey dovey and doing everything wonderful to me, but the whole time, he was suggesting that I just go topless for one of his associates then, not two. And it was because he was going through a divorce and was having a hard time and how much better it would make him feel seeing my breasts (he's always wanted to, blah,blah). He went on and on, telling me how there would be no touching of any kind and that maybe his associate would just be out of the room somewhere unbekownst to me so I would feel more comfortable. Honestly! He tried every angle. I still said No.

About a month later, my husband and I took one of his "out-of-town" associates to dinner and a club later. We were having a good time and we were all dancing and even brought a couple girls over to the table to meet his associate. It was a great evening, we got a little drunk and silly. Well, in the limo on the ride home, my husband began kissing me and taking my dress down to expose my breasts. His associate was sitting across from us and I kept tugging at my dress. Eventually I ended up giving in (because it was very hot and my husband really knows how to work me), but I felt like he had gotten his way afterall. He later told me it was unplanned, but I don't know.

So, be careful of guys like this. I love doing kink sex with my hubby, but I'm learning to set boundaries. Just learning.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 6:42pm
I was in a relationship where I was degraded except I only realized after the relationship ended. I used to service his friends and let them have sex in my butt and tell them how good their semen tasted. One time, my ex had me lick his friend's balls while they watched an hour of football on tv. At the time I was willing, but now that I have a better boyfriend I know that my ex shouldn't have asked me to do those things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 6:53pm
That's awful. That was degrading. My husband doesn't want me to have sex with his friends though - he DOES want to show them my breasts though and yes, it does feel a little degrading and yet, that night in the limo, was very hot and I eventually went along with it and felt wonderfully sexy. I'm not sure, but I think his friend might have watched us in our living room. It was dark and clothes were flying everywhere. My husband carried me up to bed afterwards. The next morning, the guy was asleep on our couch! Nobody sleeps on our couch, we have four bedrooms complete with comfy beds. He must have passed out. I guess by that time, after the limo session, it didn't even matter. He had already seen a lot go on in the limo. It feels really good to talk about some of this. I'm sad and yet, I went along! ?


Edited 5/10/2004 7:40 pm ET ET by tiana_rose
Avatar for leticiaf
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 7:29pm
FYI, use the term breasts. The word you used is against the terms of service here and your post will likely get removed.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 7:37pm
My bf is a great guy also, and as I said on another board, he makes me uncomfortable and questioning "normality". He always wants me to suck his penis and ejaculate in my mouth after anal sex (vaginal too) which seems gross. Some posters were supportive, others weren't. If you're OK with his actions and like him then don't worry about normal, but if you don't, maybe you should tell him your feelings.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 8:17pm

First of all going down on your b/f after sex is one thing and is fine if you are OK with it, but her b/f bragging about what she does and sticking his finger up her butt in front of his friends and making them sniff it is a whole different story.


Any guy who makes you do

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 8:57pm
See Tiana, I find what your husband wants YOU to do, degrading. And your last post is exhibit number...what? 6? Of how you don't seem to know what your own boundaries, limits or standards are for yourself.

Do you know how to listen to your own gut? Does that discomfort mean anything to you? It's there for a reason. Allowing your husband to talk you out of your feelings doesn't mean it's okay. It just means that he persuaded you to ignore your gut once again.

I think you need to sit down, figure out what is and isn't okay with you and then talk with your husband, since you don't seem to know what you really feel or if you're compromising yourself.


Edited 5/11/2004 1:41 am ET ET by katmandoo2001

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