Ok, I embarrassed myself

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2005
Ok, I embarrassed myself
9
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 1:34am

I posted a couple of weeks ago about being scared to be on top and told my boyfriend (during sex) "no" when he asked me if I wanted to be on top for a while (I am new to sex). Well, I read all the responses and I thought I built up enough confidence to do it, so last night he asked me again and I said yes.
Well, I embarrassed myself. First of all, I couldn't get it in at first. lol Then when I did and I was going up and down, we seemed WAY off rhythm like I was working against him. It was just not right. I had a bad cramp in my thigh from when he was on top of me so I used that as an excuse to get off (even though it really did hurt bad and was a good excuse). I was so embarrassed that I don't even want to try that again. It just seemed so "off" to me like it was all off kilter.

Also, I've had burning the past few days down there. Just out of the blue on Sunday evening it started. I had sex with him the previous Wednesday and again last (Monday)night. The burning stopped after the sex until Tuesday afternoon when it came back while I was at work. It just wouldn't stop burning and it was very uncomfortable. I don't know if it's a UTI or did he just irritate me? Can you get a fever from a UTI? Because I have a fever of 102 today. I "think" I might be getting sick though. I do have a swollen lymph node in my neck and I keep gettng a slight sore throat so maybe I'm just getting a cold or something. But the burning comes and goes and it burns when I pee.

We don't use lubricants, but latly it seems he is entering me too soon. Could this cause it so many days later?
Mys

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 1:57am

First of all, you were doing the "on top" thing wrong. Some people may do it that way, but as you now know, your legs can't last long that way. What you need to do is get on your KNEES....

Then, if you couldn't get the "rhythm".....it's because bouncing up and down if he's moving.......you'll NEVER get it. Don't bounce. And he shoudn't move at all. Just sit there, and grind into him....slowly and sensuously move your hips in a circular motion. Let him do the bouncing when he's on top. Don't try to imitate that.

As for the burning.....if you have a UTI, your vagina doesn't burn. It MIGHT burn when you urinate, and you will probably have to urinate every 5 minutes, even though there's nothing there, and your urine will have blood in it, not red, but dark, like a coke color. If you have a sore throat, that's what the fever is from. You can also get one with an UTI, but it doesn't sound like you have one. If you have vaginal burning, it's either from lack of lubrication, or you have a yeast or bacterial infection. With infections, you usually have a thick discharge, too.

If the fever persists, and the burning persists, then you should see your doctor, whether it's a throat infection, or a vaginal infection.

PS: You did NOT embarass yourself. There should be NOTHING embarassing about sex. It takes more than one or two times to get the hang of something new. And once you get the hang of it, he'll have to fight to get you off of him, lol




Edited 6/15/2005 2:00 am ET ET by greenteabag
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 7:31am

First of all, there is nothing to be embarrassed about.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2005
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 9:12am

I was on my knees. I don't think I could do the "squat" thing. I have a bad back and that wouldn't hold up.

I'm new to this so I get confused so by doing just the "grinding" thing and not moving up and down, it seems hard to believe he is getting stimulated at all. I thought that was the main point of getting him off. the "in and out" motion with him on top, the in and out motion during oral sex... I just thought the up and down motion was the normal way (I have heard some women on this board say it has slipped out, so I just assumed).
So basically, I'm definitely not moving up at down at all? Not at all, right? Hmmm... Okay. lol
IF I try this again, I'll try not to do that. lol

As for the UTI, no, there is no blood in the urine although I just got my period too (I'm having a bad week!)or any discharge. It does "tickle" down there now and I guess it's from being irritated and my period is probably aggrivating it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2005
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 9:30am

I also think this tickling/somewhat itchy feeling is going to drive me crazy today. Is there something on the market that helps? Since I have no discharge, I'm assuming he entered me too soon. Not only that, I can tell anyway that we should've played around a bit more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2003
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 9:43am

>>I'm new to this so I get confused so by doing just the "grinding" thing and not moving up and down, it seems hard to believe he is getting stimulated at all.<<

When my partner's on top of me, I love the thought of my penis being deep inside her. Just the concept brings about a new level of intimacy. Sensation-wise, yes the rubbing friction in and out feeling isn't there, but the squeezing/bending, and light rubbing of the posterior fornix on my glans is amazing.

Think of it like one of those orange juicers where the bottom of your vaginal canal is squeezing down/rubbing/juicing/milking him in a circular manner. Another analogy would be like chalking a pool cue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 9:58am

You said you have a fever, best bet is to see your doctor.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 12:04pm
Try Vagisil or Lotrimin for itchy genitals, if that doesn't work, then talk with your gyno.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 10:23pm

>>it seems hard to believe he is getting stimulated at all. I thought that was the main point of getting him off.<<

If you want a position that can get him off, then swap back into the missionary or do it doggie-style. Personally if I want to "get off" one of those positions is better for me than girl on top. What you're missing is that sex shouldn't be just about how fast you can get your guy "off". You're allowed to use positions that are just "nice" sometimes! There's nothing that says that you have to rush things.

Although other positions stimulate me more, I love girl-on-top because I don't have to do anything. I can just lie there enjoying the sensations and watching her wiggle around on me. Her breasts and nipples are right there. It's sexy watching her hips and pubic area grind against mine. I can grab her hips and pull her harder and deeper against me. When she really gets going and is grinding hard and fast as she's about to cum there is enough sensation to make me cum too. It's also a turn-on knowing that it's a position that SHE loves and a position where SHE gets plenty of stimulation.

The movements are a bit like pretending to ride a horse. You kinda rock your hips back and forth like you're on a hobby horse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2005
Sun, 06-19-2005 - 3:09pm
doing foreplay before having sex is the key. you need to get your vagina well lubricated because then his penis will slip in easier and will also cause less to no pain after sex. as for doing girl on top position .. ( this is what i do sometimes ) do squatting position but have upper body against his like its missionary so you can kiss him as well. swirl your hips and do slow or fast up and down moves and also use your free hand to play with his balls. do you know how to tighten your vaginal muscles .. if you can do that .. he;ll love it because it feels tighter when hes inside you. when your on top have him stimulate your clit.