OK, ladies, which is it?
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OK, ladies, which is it?
| Wed, 07-21-2004 - 8:00am |
I've talked to a lot of women over the years, some friends and some I was dating. On the one hand, they seem to think that they don't like a man to try getting them into bed on the first date. They worry that he's only after sex or thinks they're easy. On the other hand, it seems a lot of women feel that if a man doesn't at least try to "cop a feel" or make some kind of advance, the women wonder what's wrong with them...isn't he attracted to them or what? They expect a man to at least try. This strikes me as two different feelings on the same thing. Ladies, I'm confused.

Like everything else, it depends on the woman.
now conversely- with my current BF- at the end of our first date (which was a set up so we were basically strangers who'd exchanged a few emails but nothing more), i got nothin! no kiss no nothin...and it made me think he wasn't into me...so for our second date when he gave me a very VERY fantastic kiss good night, i knew he was super into me, just being very polite (he's kind of old fashioned chivalrous like that)....but after that first date with no kiss no nothin- it DID intrigue me more because he WASN'T going for the 'full monty' as it were....
in many ways it works the same for women- if you hold back physically it is intriguing in the early days!
For me, I prefer to let things develop naturally. There are ALL kinds of ways to indicate attraction besides the physical though.
IF I'm very attracted, then I will let him know that things can go a little further with the kiss. I've taken hands and moved them where I like them.
Another thing is - with someone I really like and was interested in, I wouldn't want him to "french" kiss me on the first date - unless we had known each other for awhile beforehand as friends or something of that nature. Second date, french kiss is okay.
(Funny how women have little rules they follow). I've broken them though, lol. But for the majority of dates and men I have really liked, that was how I felt it should be.
Robin
Robin
There are plenty of ways that you can show physical attraction and desire without going for a grope or trying to stick your tongue down her throat. Just standing slightly closer than normal, touching, holding hands, etc are good ways of gauging things. If she responds and touches you back, holds your hand or arm, or snuggles up close then you can perhaps, depending on the situation, test the waters a little more. If both of you are comfortable with sex on a first date you can be sure that things will move more quickly. Otherwise you can just take your time and see how things go on successive dates.
Assuming that the woman is attracted to you, I think that most women appreciate something to show that you are interested and attracted to them. But groping and trying too hard just makes a person feel like either a piece of meat or makes you look like a player. It's all a balancing act.