OMG.. he went down on me..

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
OMG.. he went down on me..
17
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 9:49pm


i ALWAYS told myself no matter what i wont give oral..no matter how much i love him.
& just because i wont do it to him.. (i thought of it in a sense to think "well..when i get married i`ll do it." but i dont know. anyways..i wont let him give oral to me..
until the other day..my bf of 2 years went down on me & i couldnt tell him to stop. it felt so good, i didnt think it was nasty or dirty.
i felt very selfish because even though i told him i wouldnt do it to him, he gave it to me anyways..so i felt that he must really love me. after he did oral on me for the first time...after he was done i put my lips on his penis and just sucked on it about 5 times/up & down. i stopped because i didnt want anything to get in my mouth that would gross me out anymore.
the next day we had sex..he went down on me again..but this time i didnt give it to him.
i felt bad..and he seem kind of irritated but didnt say anything to me about it..he still hugged, kissed & carressed me no matter what. but i really love him & i know he wants me to do it but im just not comfortable..im still shocked that i did it for the 10 seconds i did do it...lol
i just feel ashamed & dirty if i do it...like hell treat me differant. i dont know why.
it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be..it didnt taste or smell bad..its just in my mind that its nasty, gross...etc
next time we have sex i want to do it..but with a condom this time.. wish me luck,
i have a feeling i will back out of it though. but i love him so much..
and he doesnt have a problem with doing it to me..he even makes jokes like...
"i want some cake...but i already tasted it. its sweet."

what do i do? or say to him...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 8:55pm

Performing oral sex is a wonderful bonding experience for both the giver and the receiver. It is not demeaning or gross, really, it is quite the oposite! Remember that we were also told, no too long ago, that masturbation would lead to blindness.

You could also try flavored lubricants! I love the taste of him in my mouth, but add some sweet flavor to it and its even better! ID makes Juicy Lube and it is perfect for this. It comes in many flavors - personally I love the peach and caramel. The cherry is pretty good, too! Astroglide also makes a Sensual Strawberry flavor which is delicious! And you don't need much, a little lube goes a long way when you are doing oral.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 8:05am
maybe she comes from a religious background and she feels she should have waited. she did mention "waiting until marriage".
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 9:05am

Welcome to the board onegirlrev.

While I realize there are some people who choose to wait until marriage to have sex, this particular poster obviously is not waiting for marriage. She mentioned that he gave her oral, which she enjoyed and felt guilty about not returning. She also mentioned that they do have sex (ie. intercourse) as well.

The point appears to me that she feels performing oral sex on her BF is gross or nasty. That when thinking about that, she had predetermined that she may consider trying this if she were married. I can only interpret that to mean that she would be sure the man was committed to her and that they were in love. Especially since she also mentioned that she didn't want it to change how the guy felt about her (as in thought differently of her) after doing such a sexual act.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2007
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 1:30pm

Giving oral is not my favorite thing in the world to do, nor is receiving it (I still have yet to orgasm from oral-argh!)...but sometimes it can be really enjoyable and instead of thinking what's in your mouth think of the pleasure you're giving your man!

Here's a hint-when you're going down on him, when you're really into it, take a look up at his face. If he's anything like my man you'll see a look you probably haven't seen before and it'll make you just want to keep going! It's a pretty cool feeling to think that YOU are the cause of all this pleasure. And trust me, he won't treat you differently at all....if anything it could open up your relationship and it'll help your sex life and may also make you more willing to try different things down the road!

Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 2:56pm
the whole thing about it is... i did say i would wait to do oral sex until i was married & i told him that too. he just laughs...hmm & so did i;
but i guess he took it to another level by going down on me, maybe thinking i'll do it to him. i dont know..it really didnt work if he planned to do so..but i did jus 'taste' it..it wasnt bad like i said..but i still just cant see myself fully doing it.
he doesnt push me about it or bring it up..he still goes down on me..even when we're just laying in bed, he'll just go for it. im still not comfortable doing it to him though.
i really cant explain why..this has nothing to do with religious beliefs, its just me! :-(
but i think it will all get better & one night i will be determined to do it because i love him so much..just not ready right now. but i have a question... should i not let him go down on me bcos of my 'selfish, scary' self...? be honest.
but i think he enjoys it just for himself..but still, or should i just ask him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2007
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 3:26pm

I guess you could tell him that he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to....but if he still wants to do it then let him! A lot of guys enjoy doing it...and maybe he's also trying to make you realize that oral isn't as gross and dirty as you think. But don't give him oral just becuase you think you should...you'll end up not enjoying it like you should.

As for the tatse, you can get a lot of different lubes and creams that will make it taste much better. I have an edible massage oil (raspberry flavored) that helps a lot...and also makes it more enjoyable for him!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2007
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 7:47pm

stormi,

Best advice from me - a married guy - talk about things with your guy before you hit the sheets.

When you talk, try not to approach him from a stand point of, "That's gross, yuck, never icky" and rather from a stand point of, "I'm not sure I'm comfortable, or ever will be, but I'd like to try if you'll be patient with me."

And make sure he knows that if you're willing to try it doesn't mean you're just going to let him pop his load at will.

You can experiment during foreplay by starting maybe with a hand job, and light stroking. And to help get YOU comfortable, start with some kisses or quick licks. Get yourself used to the idea of being down there first.

See how that works. And heck maybe you'll never be comfortable with it. That's okay too.

If he's worth your time and really cares about your needs, he'll be open to 1) being totally patient and 2) being understanding even if that ultimately means no oral.

But definitely talk about it before you head to the bedroom.

-LG

PS: If he gives it to you, quit complainin' and let yourself enjoy it. For a lot of men it's one of our greatest thrills to please a woman orally.

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