One-night stands

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2006
One-night stands
14
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 4:14am

I am a dedicated—some would say obsessed—career woman. I devote so much time and energy to my job that it is impossible for me to develop a standard relationship with a man. Yet I am a woman with natural physical urges that demand to be satisfied. Here is my solution to this dilemma: Every so often, when I’m horny, I go out and pick up a man for a one-night stand.

I put on my pickup outfit:
· a semi-sheer blouse with a touch of lace, one size too small
· a calf-length skirt with a long slit up the side
· Prada high heels
· My Wonder Bra (34C)
· Bikini briefs, a size too small to make them feel snug and sexy
· In my purse, condoms—it’s safe sex or no sex
· An indelible marker—more about this later.
Note: I never wear jewelry or makeup. What you see is what you get.

I go to the main bar at one of the top-tier downtown hotels. There I can count on meeting traveling businessmen who are looking for action. I've found businessmen to be generally well-groomed, clean, well-mannered, and intelligent. Actually I don't care about intelligence. I don't take men to bed to talk about Dostoevski or recombinant DNA. I've yet to meet a man who wasn't smart enough to put his erect penis in my vagina. One thing: I shun men with wedding rings. I realize that some married men don't wear rings, but I do what I can to respect the marriage bond.

When I spy an attractive prospect, I sidle up to him, and flash an inviting smile. This gets the ball(s) rolling. Soon we either connect with each other, or I politely move on to someone else. I don’t believe in beating around the (my) bush. Once I’ve established a rapport with a desirable man, I suggest we continue our conversation in his room. I like to be the one to propose this: it gives me a feeling of being in control. Of course, sometimes the man propositions me first!

I find it efficient to go to the man’s room. We just take the elevator and hop into bed. The sheets and bathroom are clean and I don’t have to worry about entertaining someone at my place, or getting him to leave when I’m ready to be alone. When we’ve had sex, I sometimes call room service for a snack or a drink. And on a couple of occasions, when I haven’t liked how a man treats me in bed, I’ve just put on my clothes and returned to the bar to pick up someone else!

I’m good in bed, if I do say so myself, and my lovers are always satisfied. Sometimes they offer me money, which I always refuse. I’m not a whore. I don't screw men to get money. I screw men because I want the feeling of their big dicks filling my vagina and rubbing against my clit.

At the end of the evening, I ask for a souvenir: the man’s boxers or briefs. I pull out my indelible marker and ask him to write his name, the date, and a short message. Often they say something perfunctory like “Thanks for a great evening,” but sometimes I get a more forthcoming, “That was the best sex I ever had” or “You give the world’s best blow job.” Often my lovers want my panties in exchange for their underwear, and I’m happy to oblige. Fraternities have panty trees, displaying trophies of the brothers’ conquests, and in my apartment I have an underwear tree—a plastic Christmas tree (!) on which I festoon souvenirs of my lays.

My lovers often want to see me again, but I refuse—I won’t even give them my phone number. I don’t want a long-term relationship and I don’t want to get emotionally attached. I know most women are into monogamy and a family, and I probably will be too, someday. But for now I’m content to be a girl who just wants to have fun.




Edited 1/31/2006 5:56 am ET by fannyons

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2006
In reply to: fannyons
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 3:53am

Thank you for your thoughtful post. If someday I am ready to settle down, and meet a man with whom I want to share my life, I will not care whether he has a checkered past, and I expect that he will feel the same about me. Going forward, of course, we would absolutely faithful to each other.

One more comment: I have been asked whether my sexual behavior stems from being more highly sexed than the average woman. I would say "Yes" if I indulged in my one-night stands much more often than I do. But I typically go a month or two between sexual escapades. In other words, I have sex significantly less often than most married women. I don't think I am more sexed than others; I think, rather, that I am acutely aware of my sexuality and am forthright in expressing it.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: fannyons
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 10:19am

Well, not sure what kinds of comments you were seeking with your initial post but you surely expected a few that did not agree with your choices.

Yes, I was one who personally chose to develop a complete and rewarding relationship with another human being rather than pursue occasional one-night stands with strangers. But if that choice works for you now, at this point in your life, then that's certainly an option.

IMO, unless a life is balanced, with equal time spent developing professional AND personal relationships, there will likely be many regrets at the end of it.

But as I said before, your choice for you is all that matters, isn't it?

Good luck.




Edited 2/1/2006 10:37 am ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: fannyons
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 3:00pm
Kat you took the words right out of my mouth. Our life is the sum total of our choices and our experiences. I have had meaningless sex, I have also had meaningful sex with the person I love. Noooo comparison. Its the difference between shooting a basketball in the driveway, and sinking the winning goal in a real game in front of a real crowd. Both are similar in essence but one means much more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: fannyons
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 11:58pm

I guess that you wanted people to add a comment if you posted this here. I'm not sure what to say or what you wanted us to say. If you want us to validate your behaviour, then my answer would be as long as you are happy with what you are doing and no-one gets hurt then I guess that it's fine. Your choice and your decision. You don't say whether or not you tell these guys that you have no intention of ever seeing them again before you have sex. While I don't expect too many of them would have expected to see you again or be terribly upset that you didn't want to pursue a relationship, I guess that's the only vaguely grey area in the whole plan that I can see.

Personally, your post feels slightly desperate to me. As if you ARE trying to justify your choices. There's something about it that makes me wonder whether or not part of you wonders what the alternatives would or could have been like. That was the impression I got anyway. How you really feel about it might be quite different.

Pages