One night stands??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2008
One night stands??
11
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 10:05am

Is it possible to have a clean one night stand?


Here's my story:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 2:19pm

I've had a few of them, when I was in the same position that you're in now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 3:40pm
Yes, both scenarios are possible - you could end up really liking the guy/falling for him or it could just end as a one night stand with no contact at a later date.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2008
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 3:58pm
Yes. I have met two women from these boards and am still great friends with both of them-although there was a bit of a rough patch with one of them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 4:04pm

Hi ckgkelly!


I think my take on the subject will be different that a lot of people you will find here.


Sex is an inherent part of my life, my femininity. I don't get nearly as much as I'd like. However...I would not trivialize what things I have to give by entering into a FWB scenario. I would not casually give my self to another as I look at myself and the things I bring as valuable, worth something.

Mrs P

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 4:35pm

While I don't judge other people for having one night stands, I would never try it myself. I just wouldn't want to take the risk of catching an STD or getting pregnant by a man I don't even know.

Besides, if I don't know the guy yet, I would not feel safe being alone with him. How do you know he is not a murderer or a rapist? It's too risky if you ask me. I had a bad experience in college where my friend and I had two guys stop by to pick us up for a blind double-date. At the last minute, we got uneasy and turned them down. Just two weeks later, the guys were in the paper for having taken two other girls to the park, each one had taken one girl some place private and then sodomized her. So now I am a lot more careful about these things.

Anyway, one thing that struck me about your post is that you are feeling very hurt and lonely right now. It seems as though you would be using the one-night stand as a way to escape your pain. To me, if a one-night stand is just about the sex, then it would be just about the physical sensations, none of the emotional ones. That doesn't seem to be the case in your situation. It seems like you want to be held and to feel desired by somebody. If that's what you're there for, it's not really just a one-night stand. It's an attempt to run away from your loneliness. In the morning, after the guy leaves, you will just go back to feeling lonely again. I think there are better ways to handle your pain. That's just my opinion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 7:25pm

Welcome to the board, ckgkelly.

I've never had a one night stand, but I have had a few casual relationships. Friends that I had sex with -- but they truly were friends as well. For me, that type of relationship worked at the time, but I definitely wasn't looking for any type of emotional fulfillment from them.





iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2008
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 8:13pm

Well, you make an excellent point about the risk in having a one night stand with an internet guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2008
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 8:24pm

You make a very wise point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2005
Sun, 11-30-2008 - 8:55pm

Wow sakura, I just love to read your replies!! You always have such awesome info and facts.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2008
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 12:39am

.


"Like most things in life...when you dilute and debase something , make it common and easily had, it looses it's value. Loses it's importance. I want sex to be important, meaningful and special. Picking up a one night stand is counterproductive to my idea of sex."-MrsPe


I think the above qoute was an awesome statement. Everyone has given some good advice, and I agree, what I picked up in your tone was hurt and loneliness. That being said, I must say I was in a similar situation..I had given up on men and said the hell with them, I am just gonna have a one night stand, get my fill and throw them to the curb. Ironically, my first one nite stand ended up becoming my DH and we have been together over 10 years, so you never know how things will turn out!

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