One other thing!

Avatar for ariesgirl26
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
One other thing!
11
Sun, 06-12-2005 - 2:28pm

I am sorry i just posted one question now I have another, what type of benefits do each of you get from sex? I read this article which I personally thopught was bogus, it said that you can have health benefits from sex, such as a stress free life, totally bogus since i am constantly stressed, sex or no sex. You sleep better, your more happy and so on. I want to know how you all feel about that, do you believe sex has health benefits, if so does it associate with orgasms, without orgasms would you feel sex is healthy for you? I am just curious what everyone thinks about that?

here is the article I am referring to:

http://www.tantra-sex.com/ummsummer00.html

any opinuions would be great!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 9:19am

Your husband is VERY wrong! It's for men and women who DO like sex, and want to make it even better. It's a way of making it into something deeper and more profound than just "getting off". Anyone can do that.....even animals.

It sounds like your dislike of sex might stem from the fact that HE's not willing to learn, or take chances......or put some effort into satisfying you to the point that you eagerly look forward to the next time.

I was married to a man who thought of sex as nothing more than a way of satisfying himself. My needs, or my pleasure had no bearing on anything. He decided if, when and where, and I guess he thought the fact that he was "doing it" was supposed to be my pleasure! It wasn't. I've since been in a couple of LTR's that were completely different.....MY pleasure was part of the whole thing. We didn't know anything about Tantric sex.....we just concentrated on pleasure....not for the 5-10 minutes it took them to finish......but for sometimes HOURS of foreplay.....sharing the pleasure, and prolonging the pleasure. That's what Tantric sex is about. Sometimes, "finishing" and/or orgasms aren't even the idea......it's the long buildup that gets you there that gives you the most pleasure. When I was married, sex was nothing more than one of my "wifely" obligations. It was OK, but I wouldn't have cared if it was once a month! In my relationships, I was the complete opposite.....I was the agressor, and they loved it.

You might want to explain that to your husband. IF you got more pleasure, you might actually WANT to do it more often.

And, you mentioned in another post to someone, you two don't even talk. That's sad, and probably a sign of lots deeper problems than you not getting much out of sex. Good Luck!

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