only had sex with one person?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
only had sex with one person?
18
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 3:07pm

i was wondering if there is anyone on here that has sex with only one person and what they feel about that....

i lost my virginity last year and am pretty sure that i'm going to marry my bf. i love him to death and would never cheat or anything, but a part of me is sad that i waited so long b/c i never could see what others were like. but the bigger part of me loves him way too much to ever do that b/c he is more important that any of that. he knows i think of having sex with pretty much everyone (that was even before losing my virginity), but i feel horrible when i'm like gee..i almost wish i would have experimented more even though there was nothing i would change :(




Edited 5/18/2007 3:14 pm ET by farmgirl9876

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2007
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 4:21pm

Interesting question farmgirl....I sometimes wonder if it would be easier if one hadn't had many partners. The problem is that (I think) the spouse is often not the best sexual partner someone had in their lives. If they hadn't had sex, they wouldn't know that.

I do the same thing as you...I often wonder how someone is in bed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 4:30pm

Hi farmgirl.



I don't know that I can offer you any real words of wisdom, as I have had sex with several more than 1 person. The one thing I can share with you is that any time I have been in a committed relationship, I have only had sex with that person for that amount of time. I won't say that having casual sex can't be fun, as I have had non-committed sexual relationships too, but I will say that the two don't compare in the long run.



Now that I have been married for 16 years, I can honestly say that sex with my DH only keeps getting better!



I think it is natural to be curious about what other lovers might be like, but if you invest yourself into the sexual relationship that you have with your partner, and he does the same, it will only continue to develop. That's something that you can't experience with just anyone!



Okay, I'm sure that was more than "one thing" that I said!



If you continue to feel curious, introduce toys and fantasy to your lovemaking. That can give you a different feel in a safe environment ;-)



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 4:50pm
Be proud not sad that you've saved an incredible part of yourself for someone who'se deserving and is as special as you are. I've only been with 2 men and both were/are husbands and more than likely I would still be with 1stDH had he not left me widowed at the tender age of 23. Having allot of men taking stabs at you is not going to make you feel any better and can actually hurt you in the long run when you take into account the harm that can be done to your self esteem and possibly even your health. People who jump from one bed to another usually aren't happy. They end up feeling used with nothing genuine or substantial to offer when someone really special comes along. Think positively about your character, the fact that you are a clean and healthy vessel-not tainted by society and it's many ills and that you have a high moral value system ( very lacking in modern civilization today! ). I am exceptionally proud of young people who can overcome temptation and curiosity refusing to be promiscuious, you too should be proud of yourself!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 7:28pm

he's very amazing. i can't really imagine better than what i have with him which is why i get upset with myself when i wish i could have done it with someone else. but there isn't one guy before him that i dated that was good enough to lose my virginity to b/c he truly is amazing! but i just wonder what others are like. he had sex with a previous gf so i guess i've always been slightly upset about that b/c i wish it was just with me. i don't know if i'd be thinking the same if not for that.

i came to college never dated/kissed. i kinda/not really dated, but got some kissing in and a little hand stuff/oral with very few guys, so that stuff doesn't bother me as much b/c those guys sucked horribly. but when it comes to sex i don't know what else or what others are like or if they'd get me to feel the way i do and all that stuff. but at the same time i want nothing else but him.

i also get upset that i never get his/anyone's first so everything means a lot to me b/c it's my first but for them i feel like it's just another time. i know our first time was special, but i feel like it had more meaning to me since it really was my first which he gets upset when i say stuff like that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 7:33pm

yes, it does get better and better and it's only been a few months. i know that non-commited would be nothing like what i have with him. i'm still torn on whether i would ever have non-commited. i probably would if he was a good friend, but then i wouldn't be able to keep the seperation. but at the same time it would be long before i found another man and i don't think i could go that long without sex!

one thingn i do like about him is while he's been with a lot of girls. he only had sex with the one. and they were broken up for probably 3/4 a year and he didn't have sex with them and then he waited a year with me until i was ready...even after we had a minor break up b/c i went pms crazy and couldn't keep in my feelings of being ready for sex when i had previously told him that i wanted to wait until marriage...ahh..the pms before BC...amazing times. poor him for dealing with that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 7:37pm

yeah, i'm glad that i waited so long and did it when i was ready with him an dknow that hopefully one day we will get married. i think i would be hurt if i was with a lot of guys b/c before him i barely did anything with them and was hurt b/c they were always trying to get in my pants and that's really annoying and lead to even lower self esteem.

i'm also glad b/c i try to set a good example for my brothers and children b/c i am really open with my brothers b/c i want them to have someont to come to since i never did and the same for my children.

it's nice to hear other people are like that. all my "friends" think i'm a huge slut so i stoped talking to them for the most part.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2007
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 10:18pm

Just be content with your decision. You can always second guess yourself in all parts of your life. You made a good decision. Stick with it! Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2007
Sat, 05-19-2007 - 6:03pm
I was like you, I had my first ltr with the guy who i gave my virginity to. That lasted quite a while and it was really really boring. Now I'm on #2 and it has been unimaginably amazing, by comparison at least. I'm so bummed I waited so long to find out what it was like to really have tons and tons of fun with my sex life instead of it being a routine thing. So, I dunno, think hard before you settle down with the first guy. You know?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Sat, 05-19-2007 - 6:11pm
i'm not bored with him at all. sometimes i'm afraid that it's going to get boring b/c we'll do a position for a while b/c it's really good, so i start trying new things to keep it fresh. it's alway fun and amazing and everything. i never knew it'd be THIS good. lol. the only problem is that he's so hairy i don't get as much fun b/c i want to lick him and stuff. and i'm always too lazy to shave him. lol. i just wonder what others are like b/c i can't imagine the guys that i dated before being very good...maybe one. and from what my friends tell me about their sex lives...it sounds not so amazing. i just wonder what all of that is like and how their positions work and how creative they are and how they touch and move and everything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2007
Sat, 05-19-2007 - 9:03pm

Here is the plain truth. The novelty of sex will eventually wear off. People try different things to keep it alive -- change partners, try new tricks, or some combination. Whatever they do, its a losing battle. The novelty eventually wears off. And as the novelty begins to wear, so does the frequency. People who get married based on this novelty and passionate love but with little else in common(its hard to realize that when you are overpowered with passion), will find themselves trapped in unhappy marriages later on.

What will sex be like with another guy ? Different penis, different thrusting, same ejaculation, same withdrawal, different pillow talk.

We live in a sexually charged world. A lot of commerce depends on the public perception of sex which the media is always trying to manipulate. Don't believe everything you see or hear and certainly don't get too hung up about sex. Ask yourself if you enjoy doing other things with your boyfriend.

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