The only thing that turns me on is rape
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| Mon, 02-26-2007 - 12:01am |
Please help... I have no idea what to do... And sorry if this question offends anyone.
I am a 19 year old female and have had 3 sexual partners in the last 2 years, always in caring, consensual, dating relationships. However, it was fairly traditional sex, sure, different positions, but never anything kinky.
The problem is, the only thing that arouses me in the slightest is the thought of being raped... To me, the idea of soft-touching, kissing, looking into each others' eyes, etc is a turn off... it isn't sexual at all to me. I've never had orgasms from sex, don't feel any pleasure from it, and don't get wet during foreplay (we always, always need lube). However, I can get off from masturbating, but only if I think about getting raped, in graphic detail.
My current boyfriend knows about the problem, but he's unwilling to try any kind of role play or anything, he says he "just wouldn't be comfortable with it", and frankly, I can't imagine how it wouldn't be awkward... "Okay, hold still bitch.... am I doing this right?"
But I guess the real problem is that although the idea of being raped is a huge turn on to me, I still want a loving and respectful partner. I feel as if, in order to get enjoyable sex, I'll have to have an abusive boyfriend, but in order to get the loving partner, I'll have to spend the rest of my life staring at the ceiling wishing I felt something.
Does anyone have any ideas of what I should do? I'm completely at my wits' end.
Thanks for your time :)

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Thankyou so much for your advice... I really appreciate it, and it's a good way to start... sadly my bed is completely devoid of anything to tie someone to, but I'm sure we'll think of something... there's always the hands-behind-the-back thing...
I'll try and talk to him about any fantasties he has... Perhaps he has a traditional, kink-free loving consensual sex fantasy? (ha ha ha)... but yeah, that's a good idea... I have asked him before, but you're right, he could be embarassed to tell me.
Thanks again! I so much appreciate your replies :)
who said he had to tie you to your bed? LOL If he's going to *force* you into having sexual intercourse with him, then it can be ANYWHERE! And just like you said, hands behind your back is a possibility!
thinking about the scenario, maybe something simple to start out with... Oops, you left the door unlocked and b/f surprises you while you are taking a shower, grabs you out, ties you up and has his way with you right there in the bathroom and *leaves* when he's done! It doesn't have to be rough if he's not comfortable... but I think it would be an idea way to start.
Well I'm off to work fantasizing about my own dh and above scenario! LOL Have a great day!
Katie
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