Open Marriage? Would you

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2005
Open Marriage? Would you
29
Sat, 02-18-2006 - 11:43am

Open Marriage? Would you



  • like one?
  • have one?
  • tried it did not like?
  • Allow mate to have one but not you?
  • you have one but never allow your mate?
  • Only as a couple in three some?
  • Only as couple swapping?
  • Not in a Million years?


You will be able to change your vote.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 6:03pm
I voted "Not in a Million years." My time for playing is now while I'm single. When I find the right man and get married, I believe in total commitment to each other. I think having sex with other people would damage the relationship - I know that if I was married, I wouldn't want to see my husband intimate with another woman.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 3:01am
We have swung but would not do an open marriage. Some believe open marriage and swinging (threesomes, couples, group sex etc) are the same. In actuality open marriage and swinging are different. Swinging involves couples playing together and does not involve emotional commitment to the other participants. Whereas in an open marriage situation play is usually done on an individual basis and there is a level of emotional involvement.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2006
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 11:05am
I think that "Open Marriage" is the most ignorant thing I have ever heard. What is the point of getting married. Why would anyone agree to that. If you wanted an open marriage you should have just saved yourself the money and stayed living together and just co-habitate. This is a disgrace to the idea of marriage.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2006
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 11:55am
Marriage should be a sacred thing between two people who are in love. period. If you have to sleep with all these other people then why exchange vows in front of god and everyone else? its just not right.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 6:33pm

The point of getting married is that you love your spouse and want to spend the rest of your life together. Beyond that, every couple has to work out what being married means.


For some people that means shared finances, shared housekeeping duties, shared child rearing duties, shared religion, shared political positions.etc. Some very conservative couples even limit their exposure to the opposite sex at work or in their social life.


For other couples, however, they retain their independence in many ways. They may keep separate bank accounts, divide housekeeping or child rearing duties, differ on politics and religion, and may enjoy a night out with the girls/boys without their spouse every once in a while. These couples don't love each other any less than the couples in the first paragraph.


And while it may seem extreme to people committed to a more mainstream definition of marriage, some people don't require monogamy from their spouse. They require fidelity. They require their spouse to be emotionally true to them, to be there as their best friend, their co-parent, their business partner, their confidante, their closest counselor, their travel buddy, etc etc etc. For these couples, sex isn't the key element of their marriage - its the emotional commitment.

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martinisnsushi - living the good life since 1963


CL Redbook "Get Inside His Head"

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martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 8:28pm

"And while it may seem extreme to people committed to a more mainstream definition of marriage, some people don't require monogamy from their spouse. They require fidelity. They require their spouse to be emotionally true to them, to be there as their best friend, their co-parent, their business partner, their confidante, their closest counselor, their travel buddy, etc etc etc. For these couples, sex isn't the key element of their marriage - its the emotional commitment."


You explained it beautifully.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2006
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 9:50am

I understand that it is an emotional commitment and I can agree that others have seperate bank accounts for independance etc.

However, I feel that once married. Sexual intercourse with someone else defies marriage. I personally know several couples in an open marriage. On the outside and when you speak to them together they are happy and seem to both agree with the open marriage. THey are advocates for the open marriage issue.

However, being the curious person that I am I continued to question them privately and there were as I suspected underlying issues. There is more than just being sexually free with your partner when it comes to open marriage. There is the issue of not being satisfied with your spouse sexually.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 11:16am

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martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 11:50pm
Sex isn't the key element in my marriage, but I still expect him to be completely and totally monogamous. We share many aspects of our lives with other people - but for us sex is the one thing that no one else gets to ever be a part of - it the one thing I keep reserved especially for my husband and him for me. It isn't the most important part of our relationship, but it is important in that no one else gets to be involved in that part of it.

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