oral help

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
oral help
3
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 12:09pm
okay..so...my bf and i were together for a little over 5 years and during that time he only got off like twice from oral sex. We broke up for about a year and are now back together. In the past, he always told me he had a hard time getting off from oral sex, and i didn't think too much of it. But now that we've had this break, and i haven't asked cuz i don't want to know, there is a chance that he's gotten oral from other people..and there's a chance it could've have been better, and maybe even that he's gotten off from it. So i'm all worried now that I'm not good enough..cuz the few times I've done it since we've been back he hasn't gotten off. Is it true that some guys do just have a hard time with this, or is it really me? he's the only guy i've ever given oral to, so unfortunately, i don't have any base for comparison. Help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: atm129
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 12:23pm
Hi atm. YES some guys, if not many guys, actually have trouble with orgasms from oral. I'm one of them, and it DOES bother the wife more than I personally think it should, LOL, but we always finish with fun ways anyway.

If you're worried about being better than or even just as good as someone else, then that sounds like setting yourself up for . This is your choice, atm, but in my personal opinion, its not always helpful to compare yourself to someone else, whether or not that someone else may be better or more experienced. Maybe its not a bad idea to try and enjoy what you CAN do. Has he really complained that much? Has he brought up others at all? Keep communicating with him and have him you learn what works for him and what doesn't. Remember, some of the most experienced ones out there are simply the ones that master the ability to "read" the receiver's reactions while offering pleasure, right? Right. ;)

Along with the great advice you'll get here, try these other boards too if you haven't visited them yet. They've helped me quite a bit and Mrs. Para NEVER complains, LOL!! Good luck to you! :)

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlpleasurepr

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-wcoralsextip

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-csgoingdown

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: atm129
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 1:49pm
You don't have a basis for comparison? That's good, because something you should never do is MAKE comparisons. Every guy is different, and every woman is different. The first thing you need to do is forget about what went on, or MIGHT have gone on while you two were apart.

You said he was always like this, even before you broke up, so why are you wondering NOW? Listen to him. He TOLD you he has a hard time finishing from oral. He isn't alone, there are lots of guys that are like that. Who knows why? Probably something about it being "taboo", or being told as a child that it was nasty, or whatever.

Most of us don't really WANT them to finish during foreplay.....because that's the END. As long as he finishes, it really doesn't matter how. Even if he has to do it himself, the point is that he finishes.

There's really not much you can do "wrong" except hurt him in some way. He's not complaining, is he? Actually, by YOU complaining or making waves about it, you're just making it that much harder for him, by putting pressure on him. He's with you, he's not with anyone else, so I guess he's happy with you. Just accept that, and accept the fact that he doesn't often finish from oral stimulation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
In reply to: atm129
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 2:24pm
okay..i feel better

he has never complained or anything like that. i think i just needed a little reassurance that it wasn't me on this one.

thanks for all your advice!