Oral Sex
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Oral Sex
| Tue, 06-12-2007 - 2:58pm |
OK... not going to lie... I absolutely love oral. The problem is... My husband and I have been together now (sexually) for three years... and he has probably given me oral only three (VERY SHORT) times. I always give him oral and I enjoy it very much... but he claims he's just not into it. -(Giving ME oral that is... he enjoys his oral very much) Ugh. It's so frusterating because I just feel like when we have sex it's all for him... and I'd like to enjoy myself too! I feel like he's just grossed out by my body. ...And not to sound conceited but it's not like there is anything wrong with my body. I'm fit... I shave down there so he doesn't have to be grossed out by hair that's in the way... but he says he just "gags" easily. I don't understand and I feel like something is wrong with me but I have had previous partners before that didn't have a problem with me. Ugh. I'm so frusterated... Does any one have any advice on what to do?

There's nothing wrong with YOU. He's the one with the problem. Whether he just doesn't like it, or whether he's selfish....only he knows. It's probably some of both.
What to do about it? Hard to say. If you've told him you like it, and you'd be happy if he'd do it for you......and he takes the hard line and says no.......well, you can't change him. You can only change your expectations.
The "natural" response would be to say...."well, then, if you won't, neither will I". I don't think you want to go that far, but maybe you do.
There are some men who just can't/won't. My ex husband was one of them! It was many years ago.....I'd never experienced it, but I was "expected" to give it, and I did. I asked him to try it, he said no a hundred times.....I finally got mad and said if he wouldn't at least try, then he wasn't getting it anymore either. THAT got his attention! However, I regretted it......because after two seconds, he ran gagging and choking to the bathroom, then I heard him brush his teeth AND gargle. Needless to say, that turned ME right off of it. After my divorce (NOT for that reason) I wouldn't let anyone near me for years......But I finally got over it ;-)!
My XH was the same way as sakura2006's ex was. Only I never even managed to get him to try it. And I KNOW I taste good because I like the way I taste myself.
Some men just can't get over the preconceptions that they learned about sex growing up. At least that was his problem. He thought it was dirty, only time he really got into it was when he was drunk.
I would definitely try telling him that if he doesn't then you won't either (like sakura2006 did). If its the smell or taste he has a problem with you may want to try it with dental dams (i think that is what they are called). Or you can visit a toy store and get a 'toy' that simulates oral (with a vibrator added .. yay). I have one of those and its definitely fun for a different feeling. Get one and let him play with it on you. I wish I could have gotten my Ex to even do that!
Good luck to you.
Welcome to the board sublime0377.
Is your DH doing anything to satisfy you? If he does have an aversion to giving oral, you may not be able to change that. BUT, there are plenty of other ways that he can and should satisfy you. If sex is only for his satisfaction, you will build up resentment.
If he isn't putting effort into helping to make sure you are satisfied, then it sounds like he is either selfish or uneducated about the needs of a woman. If you think it's the latter, you may want to have him visit the-clitoris.com. It's a great site explaining the female genitals and ways to stimulate a female sexually.
my partner in the siggy exchange