Oral sex "goals" & marathon men

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2006
Oral sex "goals" & marathon men
2
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 10:40am
Hope you folks didn't misunderstand me, I am NOT saying I'm an expert at the oral thing. It's just that HE is the one who told ME I have a goal to "shoot for". He said he could never hit the home run with oral sex and says HE wants to try. I would never push this issue, but he seems to want to try to get there this way. I know men are all different, but I've never run across this issue with any of my other boyfriends (not that there's dozens, but enough to have a variety to compare). So as HE was the one who said he would like to try to see what happens here, I am only too eager to try to please him. I went from a guy (for 9 years) who lasts maybe 3 minutes (I got very good at the 100 meter dash) in any type of sex, to one who can go for over an hour. So (as a runner who obviously needs MORE stamina) I know I have adjustments to be made, but I need to bump up my cardio training to over 8 miles a day now instead of 6! How DO you ladies who have marathon men do this? I think my days of the "guickie" are officially over. I do think it's kind of funny that I went from one extreme to the other, not in between. I must admit I do get tired after a while, fit or not!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 12:33pm

You're not running a race, and sex isn't supposed to be a "marathon"! If this guy has a problem finishing with oral, then that's HIS problem, not yours. Making it a "goal" is only going to assure that it's not going to happen. It's the same with women and orgasms. If a woman has never had an orgasm, and every time she has sex....all she's concerned with is having an orgasm, then it's not going to happen. There are many men who can't finish orally...it's not unusual at all. Who knows why....more than likely some subconscious childhood taboo that they don't even know that they have.

Sex isn't (or shouldn't be) a sport activity with goals. It's a way of two people expressing feelings for each other, and enjoying ALL the pleasure that ensues, regardless of the outcome. Some people run marathons continuously, with no expectation of winning, they get pleasure from running the race.

Believe it or not, oral sex is oral sex, no matter who's doing it, and if he's never been able to finish that way, then he's got some kind of hangup about it, and you can go on for hours and hours, it's not going to work. He has to figure out what his hangup is, and get over it. Explain to him that the journey is as good if not better than the destination. Even if he doesn't finish, he will still enjoy it, and when you've had enough, you quit, and move on to something else that he CAN finish with.

You can't fix his "problem".....only he can do that. And I wouldn't appreciate his attitude about you "fixing" it.....because what if you don't....then it's on to the next one?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 1:40pm

Dh and I don't have goals within our sex life, we just enjoy what we're doing and just let everything happen.


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