Oral Sex Question - Complicated
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| Mon, 12-11-2006 - 10:11am |
I will try to make this easy to follow.
My guy loves to provide oral sex. He is a master at the art. Lately, however, I have been very jitery and not responding the way I'd like/should. Of course he noticed and thinks I no longer enjoy his attention (I don't want to give this up). I told him this but from his prospective - he's been rejected and doesn't want to do this anymore.
Last night we came really close to doing it again but I didn't push the issue (which he feels "sealed the envelope") and once again - he has told me he won't provide oral anymore.
I feel like banging my head against the wall.
I want to receive oral, I want to relax and enjoy it but I'm in this rediculous catch-22. If I ask - he'll think I'm just trying to appease him and if I don't ask (and hope that it will just happen) then he thinks I don't want it.
Uugghh. Can anyone make sense of this and help?

Edited 12/11/2006 12:27 pm ET by katmandoo2001
Unfortunately, it seems that your BF's reaction exposes the true reason he's so generous with the oral pleasure and it's not a good one. His sexual ego is tied up in your reaction. Instead of doing it because it gives you pleasure, he's doing it because your reaction makes HIM feel like a great lover. Hence, his "I'm taking my tongue and going home" reaction to your lack of applause, oohs and ahhs lately.
I think you need to explain sexuality 101 to him. You love his skills but you aren't a robot programmed to respond the same way every time. You WILL have an off day, night or even period but it has NOTHING to do with his abilities to please you.
Too bad that he's not mature enough to know that already.
Who told you he was a "Master of the Art"? HIM? He needs to grow up, he needs to learn about women, and he needs to leave his ego outside the bedroom.
He thinks he's not pleasing you? He thinks if you ask you're appeasing him? Actually, he thinks too much of himself, and he's not doing it FOR you, he's doing it TO you, and damn you if you're not appreciating it enough.
If a man thinks this way in the bedroom, he thinks the same way OUT of the bedroom. If you can't "talk" to him and get a rational response and some understanding from him.....you need to start thinking, too! Thinking if you can deal with this guy's EGO!
PS: My former SO LOVED giving oral sex.....but he also was doing it for me. If I wasn't "responding" (It happens to every woman on occasion) he just kept at it, he was enjoying, and so was I.....and he UNDERSTOOD that. Ego wasn't a part of it....enjoyment for both of us was what mattered.