Other sexual partners.......reasons why?
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Other sexual partners.......reasons why?
| Tue, 02-21-2006 - 10:20am |
For those in a long term relationship
| Tue, 02-21-2006 - 10:20am |
For those in a long term relationship
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>>I guess we'll have to see who's still together 30 yrs. from now.....<<
I'd be curious too. Interesting how this topic seems to throw up some very polarised viewpoints.
>>...but I know if I wanted more than one sex partner, I wouldn't have got married. For me, sex in a marriage belongs to the married couple only...<<
Interesting. I'm quite happy with the one partner that I have. If I don't ever have sex with anyone-else then I'm fine with that too. But the idea of a threesome is appealing and if it worked in reality then I'd be OK with that too. We probably won't ever do it so as I said before, my opinion on this topic may not be valid compared to those people that have done it. If it does happen it has to be, first and foremost, about us. It has to be about us rather than something equal between the three people involved. The third person would remain the "outsider" in several ways. I'm not sure that I can explain it very well. Provided it still remains about "us" then I don't feel that it matters whether or not we are married or just de-facto or whatever.
In plain English he is saying he wants the experience, excitement of having sex with another female. Are you OK with that?
I think it's like asking ANY child "do you want some chocolate cake, or do you want to eat your broccoli sprouts." LOL!
Human nature will always urge us to do the things that are easy, immediately gratifying, exciting, new and fun as opposed to what's really in our best interest or most beneficial for us and our partner.
You know, I think it's a little sad that the question started out as what seemed like genuine curiousity and has apparently turned into some people condeming the lifestyle as "not good for the relationship."
While swinging might not be right for you or for your relationship, that doesn't meet that it can't be right for someone elses.
I think perhaps the reason I was the only one to admit swinging here was because of the backlash that "my kind" generally receives from others. It's sad that we can't accept other people's lifestyles without judging. But that's a whole other topic for another day I suppose.
I posted that. And I believe what I said was that we started out of curiousity and have continued because we are sexual people who enjoy sexual experiences, including swinging. If someone wants to have sex in more than one position, does that mean they are switching positions out of boredom? Not necessarily.
I will agree that variety is the spice of life. Swinging is fun and it works for us now, but if my partner didn't want to do it anymore - I'd be 100% okay with that. If he's the last person I ever have sex with, I will be more than satisfied and fulfilled.
This is a difference of opinion, nothing more. But we ALL make judgements when deciding how we will live our lives, don't we? YOU included.
On the flip side, those of us who are monogamous by choice have been treated to insinuations of how narrow-minded, rigid and inhibited we are because we don't care to include others in our sexual relationships. Fine. That's another opinion I don't share. I can live with that.
I haven't condemned anyone's choices, though, I just stated a personal opinion about this one in particular. And yes, we are free to voice our opinions about ALL the choices set before us on this board. It isn't the Open Relationship board after all, so there will be other thoughts on the subject. You should expect to read some dissenting opinions about the lifestyle.
So, speaking for myself, this lifestyle choice is NOT good for a marriage. However, I would never attempt to speak for you or anyone else who has chosen it. That was your choice to make.
And you know, if you simply aren't open to reading other opinions that don't reflect your own, why not utilize the ignore button? That's always an option.
Edited 2/23/2006 3:41 pm ET by katmandoo2001
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