Other sexual partners.......reasons why?
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Other sexual partners.......reasons why?
| Tue, 02-21-2006 - 10:20am |
For those in a long term relationship
| Tue, 02-21-2006 - 10:20am |
For those in a long term relationship
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You're right. If I don't agree - I can ignore, but I don't have to. I can post my disagreement! And that's all I was doing. Unfortunately, my reply went to you, but it wasn't solely for you. I also think other posters were judgemental on the other side - by calling monogamous people old fashioned or whatever.
I think it's good to have differing opinions, I just there's a way to do it without being judgemental. And I don't think my posts made any judgement calls on anyone else's lifestyle. I guess I'm just in the mindset today where I wish more people were nice to each other! Can we all have a group hug now? :-)
Edited 2/23/2006 3:47 pm ET by bleugoddess
Well, I'll agree with the group hug idea. But you CAN judge choices without judging the person making the choices! And there is a difference.
I don't think there's any reason why we can't accept all comments in the spirit they are given on this board though, whether you agree with them or the delivery or not. We're all simply sharing our individual thoughts, perceptions and opinions.
Edited 2/23/2006 6:00 pm ET by katmandoo2001
bleugoddess,
I hope you continue to freely admit to being in the swinging lifestyle. Whether others want to admit it or not, people can be very judgemental about lifestyles that differ from theirs. It's one thing to say "it would not be good for my marriage" vs. saying "it's not good for marriage". This insinuates that it's not good for ANY marriage, which clearly is untrue because there are many healthy marriages that do engage in this and other activities.
Things change as time goes by. It wasn't that long ago that the vast majority of people thought masturbation was wrong and evil. Anyone admitting to masturbating was widely hailed as being abnormal, similar to today's views of the swinging lifestyle.
The same is true for vibrators. 20 years ago, you were thought to be a sexual addict if you even thought of using a vibrator.
>>Tish, that was an interesting set of questions about open marriages, and it developed into a hot discussion. <<
I'd agree with that!
>> I think that the way we are individually "wired" affects how we regard our marriages.<<
I'd agree with that too. I must admit that I'm a little surprised at how some are convinced that a swinging lifestyle is "bad" or that there *must* be something missing in a relationship to want a swinging lifestyle (No, I'm not particularly picking on you, kat ). Note that using the term "swinging" makes me feel uneasy. We certainly don't consider ourselves "swingers" and would never have an "open" marriage.
I guess that it is a matter of people being wired differently and feeling quite different about the issue. I feel that, generally speaking, our relationship is pretty good and getting better. I don't feel that anything is "missing". To me; I can see a threesome being a potentially workable concept and something that my partner and I can come to a mutually beneficial agreement over. Yet to others it clearly isn't something that they could or would ever consider. Interesting.
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