Painful issue
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Painful issue
| Mon, 07-30-2007 - 10:41pm |
OK, so I kind of have a bit of a painful issue. My boyfriend and I have just recently begun having sex. The first time we ever did...we were both virgins and he had a problem "getting it in" which, I discussed this with one of my closest friends (I'm not a person to tell EVERYONE EVERYTHING. Just her. she's always been there for me) and she said the same thing happened with her first time. So I'm guessing the first time lots of people have the issue? Well anyways, We finally got started and of course it hurt for a minute but then it went away. I was thinking because it was our first time...that's why we were having an issue...So a few days pass...and we have sex again. The thing is...He was having issues with "getting it in" again...for about 2 minutes we both struggled to get started...then we did..and it hurt again!! but once we got started it was fine. then we got inturped by a 1 minute distraction and stopped. Then we went back to doing what we were doing but...we had the issue again!!! and this time I know it wasnt because I wasnt "wet" enough, I was plenty!! but we struggled for..I'm not kidding..5 minutes. Then we had sex a few more times over the course of about 2 weeks or so and the same thing kept on happening...I always was thinking it was because I was "wet" enough, which could be true, when we go to...I'm plenty.."ready" to go...but when we actually get naked and get into the positions...I just cant seem to stay..."wet" and it's very painful once he gets it in...but once he starts I'm very very "ready" ha...(Please exucse my constant quotations) He works me up...and then it's all just gone...and I can't let him start. is this bad?!!! I don't know what to do! (and it doesnt happen when I'm not "wet" enough, usually I am we just have problems "getting it in" idk why we just do!!)

Are you two using any lubrication?
Are you stimulating your clitoris too?
Is he hard enough to enter?
It might be that the two of you have this problem in the back of your minds and you think it is going to happen again and therefore you are both nervous?
Are you able to bring yourself to orgasm by stimulating your clitoris? Maybe if you had an orgasm before IC, it may relax you some?
There's more to "sex" than intercourse....how much time are you two taking for foreplay? There's more to foreplay than just getting "wet"! You have to be relaxed and aroused, meaning your vaginal muscles have to be relaxed.....and they get that way from lots of foreplay. Hopefully, you know that foreplay consists of lots of kissing and touching all over......and lots of clitoral stimulation.
What's probably happening now is that you're both so nervous about expecting pain that you can't relax, and you're probably not well lubricated, either. Have you tried using some lubricant? That usually helps beginners, because any kind of nervousness make you tight and not very well lubricated.
Probably both of you could benefit from a better idea of how the female body works, and what it NEEDS to work.....check out www.the-clitoris.com
It will take time for both of you to learn to relax, and really enjoy what you're doing. It rarely is that great in the beginning. Patience and practice is the key.
Welcome to the board sainy00.
Sakura gave you a link to a great website. I recommend that both of you check it out. It sounds as if you are both a bit nervous, which should go away in time.
my partner in the siggy exchange
Hi!
No, we aren't using any lubrication, we both decided it's not an option.
Well sometimes...sometimes not, during sex..I stimulate it sometimes but usually not. also, before we go to have sex he usually does (haha..that's actually the only way he shows he wants to have sex!) but we still tend to have "entering" issues.
Most of the time he is. One time when we got inturupted and we went back to having sex he wasn't hard enough ^which is probably the reason why we had such a 5 minutes problem that one time^ But every other time he was hard and ready to go! So that's definitly not an issue.
I think it might be that...were both pretty awkward about it, we'll talk about the issue and he always asks "well, it wouldn't be happening if I was doing everything right, is there anything I'm doing wrong...or anything I should do" and I told him everything was fine and we just have to take more time out to just "play" around. and we have, but once we actually start sex I'm completly dry..even though 2 minutes before I was completly wet and ready. but once he enters (which is a little painful...but it goes away after a 30 seconds or so) I'm back to being completly wet.
Yes I can bring myself to orgasm with the stimulation, I've never had an orgasm before or during sex...it's quite sad actually. I mean he can give me an orgasm before...(as can I) but it's not usually right beofre sex its at completly different times than sex. During sex I get the feeling that I'm about to orgasm...but it goes away right before I get it even with stimulating the clitoris it just goes away!!