Painful position

Avatar for princessmango
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Painful position
2
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 11:12pm

I fell kind of wierd asking these because I am not used to really talking about sex but I had two questions and I was wondering if anyone could help me.

1.) My boyfriend really likes the doggy style position and every time we try it it feels like hes hitting something and it hurts to the point where I can't do it anymore. Is there a certain angle or something that would prevent this or some similar technique?

2.) Also I am used to the traditional missionary position and prefer that and haven't really had much experience being on top but my boyfriend likes that way sometimes and I feel like and idiot because I am not really sure how to do and he keeps falling out of me every time I start to move into it.

I appreciate any feedback. :)

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 12:16am

Welcome to the board, princessmango.

1.) The doggy position allows for very deep penetration and that's one of the reasons why men (and women) love it. AND as a result of that deeper penetration, it can allow for bumping the cervix, which is likely what you're experiencing. Since this can be very painful for many of us, you can avoid it by controling the depth of penetration.

First, make him aware of your pain and ask him to be more mindful of it in this position.

Secondly, you can change the angle of penetration with some experimentation or you can simply put your legs closer together to prevent him from penetrating so deeply. Those things have always worked for me.

2.) Woman on top can be one of your favorite positions once you get comfortable with it and learn how to move for YOUR pleasure. Don't worry about him...he'll enjoy whatever you do.

One key is to only move when HE isn't and visa versa. Just tell your guy to lay there and enjoy the show. You take turns doing the thrusting and the moves that please you. It takes a lot of practice to learn to move together but you can get there with time and experience together.

But the biggest mistake is attempting to mimic the in-out thrusting that a man does on top because the angle is all wrong for that and that's the main reason he'll fall out, too. So, stay close to his body.

Move in circular and close-to-his-body grinding motions so that you get more contact between your clitoris and his pubic bone and/or base of his erection. But experiment and find the moves that make the position pleasurable for YOU. Remember, this isn't just about what pleases him! Your enjoyment shouldn't just come from what you're doing for him.

Woman on top is a great position for those gals who have a hard time getting enough stimulation from intercourse, so be patient with yourself. You'll figure it out.




Edited 3/24/2005 1:18 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 3:05am

Thanks for your question princess. Hope the replies are useful.

The doggy position will permit deeper penetration just like certain other positions specifically designed to actually do so, especially some of those advanced Kama Sutra positions.

It is likely him accidentally bumping your cervix and is, as you now well know, worth explaining to him. Because of the size/length issues, some couples actually experience this even in the missionary position too. I'd make sure he fully understands that such an experience is often equivalent to painful testicles...THAT explains things to us guys CLEARLY in regards to being extra careful, LOL!

My wife & I have actually practiced with grinding and experimenting with range and angles just to make as certain as possible that she never says "ouch" again, worth thinking about.

Woman on top is all about you riding him and controlling the WHOLE show. You are the aggressive one. It isn't about thrusting away for enjoyment, its about you grinding him and enjoying yourself first. Once you are enjoying yourself, TRUST A MAN on this one and believe it!, he WILL not complain, LOL!

Make sure you are straddling and grinding him and not placing yourself so much in the squatting and thrusting position. PLEASE give yourselves enough time to enjoy learning this one, WELL worth it!

 

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