Painful sex
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Painful sex
| Thu, 09-01-2005 - 7:43pm |
Over time sex has become more painful w/my husband...At first it seemed like a lubrication issue. (we couldn't even get started...it was too difficult for him to even get it in) So we started using KY jelly. This helped for awhile and still does with the initial getting started problem..but now i've noticed that once I reach orgasm, sex becomes uncomfortable and there is a slight burning afterwards. Many times I am reaching mine during foreplay and then we have sex and ofcourse still use lubrication. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what may be going on? Thanks in advance.

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I remember reading about that type of tearing numerous times in the past, but those experiences usually did involve for what was happening. Your case seems pretty unique in regards to the medical staff not knowing whats going on.
Usually, back then with the others anyway, it was a matter of "reoccurring" tears from an initial episode. Initially, those tears would "start" from not being lubed enough from the actual beginning. By the time the next intercourse attempt came around, no amount of lube in the world would prevent a reoccurrence of it, particularly if those tears didn't "completely" heal from before.
Again, your situation is unique on its own, but those who suffered back then learned kinda the difficult way over time eventually. As you said, maybe someone out there reading this can benefit from others' experiences. Hope things get better somehow for you.
C H A R A C T E R
Thanks very much for your kind words! I realized after reading your replies that I might have made it seem like my doctors are kind of clueless and I felt like I should clarify that my doctor is awesome and I love her. :) Pre-surgery, she did mention what cl-para1995 mentioned---that basically on our honeymoon night the tear was probably pretty severe having it been our first time (I bled for 3 days straight, if that gives you any idea), and that after that, it never healed before the next time we'd have sex, which is what resulted in so much scar tissue.
I think the doctor is more mystified now that she has removed the scar tissue from surgery and I am still tearing. She noticed that where all of the stitches were is healing nicely (again, it's been 6 months now since the surgery) but that I was still tearing in the exact same place every time.
Anyway, I appreciate you and dolphin both taking the time to reply. Just having a forum to talk about it (even if it doesn't necessarily get me anywhere!) helps--it's much more of a "support group" than I've found anywhere else in the almost 2 years that I've been looking! : ) My attitude about the whole thing is really totally dependent on my mood. Currently, I'm optimistic--but of course, it's really hard to look forward to any sexual interaction when you know it's going to have the same result. I have given up on any dream of ever actually enjoying sex with my wonderful husband (at least, anytime in the near future)---but more than anything I would like just ONE time to have sex without tearing, and it's never happened. Ever. I don't regret waiting until I was married, but I do sometimes feel sorry for myself despite my best efforts. It's like, "I waited 26 years for THIS?!"
Of course, the flip side is that I CANNOT imagine dealing with this type of problem with a random boyfriend in high school, or college, or something like that--someone would really have to love me and be in it for the long haul to deal with this type of situation on a constant basis. So that makes me thank God that I did wait--at least I know that nobody wishes a better experience for me than my poor husband, and he has been nothing short of amazing through the whole thing.
So here's hoping for a miracle here soon so I can join start an "I love sex!" message board instead of hanging out in the "Painful sex" board! :)
Thanks again for your thoughts and responses!
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