Parents finding out u started having sex
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| Tue, 11-02-2004 - 1:51pm |
Both my mom and my bf's parents don't know we're having sex. My mom knows I'm on bc but she thinks it's because my doctor recommended it so that my cycle becomes regular and all of that. The only time we really get to go at it is Fridays when nobody is home at his house. We were talking about them finding out one day and we both were like "OMGOSH".
Anyways, he had a dream that his parents found the condoms from his room and sprawled them out on the table and when he got home from work they confronted him.
When I think about that idea of them confronting him or even worse, us, it freaks me out. His parents are so amazing to me and I feel like I've corrupted their son lmao. I'm exaggerating. I just feel kind of weird on how to approach the situation if it ever came up that either of our parents found out.
Mind you, my mom is very "Sex is for marriage; anybody who has sex out of marriage is a SL*T" and his parents are very tight-lipped about the whole thing. The only thing his mother has ever said to him was "I know things happen. Just be careful." Those are our experiences with dealing with sex from our parents...
Anybody have experiences, when your parents or your SO's parents found out that you were having sex??

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If you two are adults and responsible, then what you do together is really none of their business anyway. But I'm quite sure that your mother and his parents are already aware that you're active. Believe me, sexually active people recognize the signs of sexual activity, however subtle and seemingly hidden from everyone else.
But if you aren't adults yet, then they may confront you to make sure that you're being smart and of course, to voice their opinions about your choice. After all, until you're 18, they're responsible for you.
I'm certain my 21 yr. old son is active with his GF. Not because of anything I've seen or heard, just because I know that it's difficult to remain celebate in a long term relationship. Possible but not likely. But he is an adult and he gets to make those choices for himself now, regardless of what his father or I think about them.
I will give you 2 view points, my first one from when I became sexually active at the age of 19, Dh was 22 (not married at the time we started having sex).
Of course they know that you are having sex! :-)
If they confront you or him then just go with the flow. As weird as it seems your parents were both in your situation once. Really. Sex and sexual issues when they were teenagers weren't really any different. They had the same problems, concerns and issues that you two have - even right down to when they could find a private time and place to do it.
My advice to you is to listen to them. They have your best interests in mind and even if they seem overly tough about it they are just trying to pass on what they have learnt over the years. They might actually have some good advice. If nothing-else it's better to be able to talk to them about it than to have fight over it.
If they are worried about contraception just have a mature and adult conversation about it. Be prepared with some answers - tell them that you have taken and followed advice from a Doctor. Tell them that it's not a decision that you have taken lightly and that you are behaving responsibly and taken the proper precautions.
Until you are 18 and can leave home you will have to follow some of the rules while under their roof. But hopefully you can demonstrate that you are behaving maturely and responsibly and they will respond to that.
I found out in later years that my younger sister also told mum that she needed the pill when she was about 15 or 16.
When I was 17, I moved out of home. Always had an independant streak! Naturally, my parents would have been aware that my bf was having sleepovers.
mothers know everything
i thought there's no way they'd find out either but somehow they have a hunch. my parents never talked to be about sex but mom would always through around comments and things...they know. they can tell i dont know how...i guess i'll learn when i'm a parent
But seriously, if you spend 18+ years observing the behavior, etc. of your child, believe me, mothers, particularly, NOTICE even very subtle changes. Think about it. You spend thousands of hours just observing that child from birth so that he or she becomes imprinted on your brain.
And let's face it, becoming sexually active puts one on the road to adulthood so we will notice such a landmark time in our own child's life. We may not have the details but we WILL notice the change.
Edited 11/3/2004 3:11 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
Us parents know all.
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