Parents-would you give your teenage

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Parents-would you give your teenage
8
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 11:51am

daughter a vibrator?

DH and I have a very healthy sex life and a strong committment to each other. Both dh and I accept masterbation as a normal part of life for us and also accept that our children will/do do it themselves.

I ask this because we have an almost 15 year old daughter. We want her to feel good about her sexuality and not feel as if she has to turn to a guy for sex before she is ready. She has a boy friend that I know they have "fooled around with" but not had sex yet. We have encouraged her to wait as long as possible to be in a solid relationship and not have sex just for personal validation or because her desire is there... She has a healthy self esteem and we have talked about waiting but I want to let her know that there is an acceptable outlet for her desire in the priacy of her own place.

I am just curious if anyone has ever had thier Mom give them a vibrator or given a daugher one or WISH they did either???? We have a pretty good relationship and I think she would be ok with it, just wondering if it would be too wierd. I wish my Mom had taught me more more but then again, I think my mom was sexually unaware of a lot- she was a traditional 50's mom!



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 12:02pm

No, I wouldn't buy a teen or any age daughter a vibe.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 3:55pm

I think it's very important to let your child know that masturbation is normal and healthy. Also, educating her about sexual issues is important, but I wouldn't just buy her a vibrator. Personally, I don't think having a vibrator would "keep" her from having sex, and I think it would be embarrassing for her to receive one from you.

If she really does feel comfortable talking with you and can't find a way to get her own vibrator, she might ask you to help her get one if she becomes interested. Then, I would, but I tend to think she will find her own way if she is interested. In general, kids are very resourceful.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 8:21pm
I'm not a parent, but I can say that I wish my mom would have talked to me about it.
I think it would be a good idea personally, she'll learn more about her body and like you said have a sexual outlet other than sex.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 1:39am
I know my Mom never talked to any of us about sex and I have four siblings! I don't know if I wish she did talk about it or not, but, I learned a lot on my own. I think it is really great that you want your daughter to be sexually healthy and I have actually wondered about this myself as my niece (15) is certainly coming of age. I think maybe you can try talking to her about toys first and see what she thinks. You can always just reassure her that having a sexual outlet like a vibrator or whatever is healthy.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 2:26am

I'm not a parent, and I do agree that it's important to give your kids some good and honest advice and education about sex, but I'm not sure that giving your daughter a vibrator is appropriate or necessary.

It kinda goes a little bit too far in my opinion. If she wants to masturbate she'll do it without a vibrator, or she can get her own, or use any of the dozens of things around the house that can be pressed into service as and when required. I can't help but think that the underlying intention is to stop her having sex too. I wouldn't give my son a "Fleshlight", and I wouldn't give my daughter a vibrator. No matter how good the relationship was/is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 2:45am
Vibrators are gateway tools to the real tools. Just say no.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 12:48pm
Well I think you could let her know you would get her if she wanted it. Just incase it makes her uncomfortable. When I was that age I found plenty around the house to use on myself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 3:33am
I think a good sex talk with her is a good idea, but giving her a vibrator might be going a bit far. I'm sure if you give her a Venus Vibrance or a vibrating toothbrush, that she will soon figure out what else they are useful for ;-). As the others said, there are plenty of things she can use around the house if she has the imagination. Getting her a vibrator wouldn't necessarily stop her from having sex at a young age. It might even backfire if she believes that if the vibe feels that good, imagine how sex would feel! The best you can do for her as a parent is give her the right information so she isn't going on the false info that goes around schools, and hope she makes the right decisions for herself. Keep the conversation open, so she feels comfortable coming to you.