Passionate Sex....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Passionate Sex....
5
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 12:12pm


Question for the women;


If you were suppose to see Mr. Perfect again tonight, and tonight will be the first time you two will have sex, in a normal environment (ie not drunken car sex), what would this ideal night look like?

So, a classy, passionate, romantic sexual encounter would consist of what? You would hope that I would already know this, lol, but I would like to hear some different views. Obviously this would be different from person to person, situation, age..etc, but if someone could take a few minutes to tell their view, it would be greatly appreciated.

Again, this is the first time you two have been together, so you don't know much at all about each other. So, even with that, to have this perfect first night, it would consist of what?

Be as descriptive as you like.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 12:29pm

Well, I won't give you details on our first time together, even though he had a very romantic night planned, the best made plans could get royally screwed up so I'll forget that night.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 1:39pm
No date tonight, but I'm expecting an unexpected date soon. The question is mostly for informational purposes only, but since I was planning to ask it sometime, now would be an appropriate time.

I run in a fairly large circle, with some people coming and going, some singles, some couples. A couple months ago, someone's sister started making an appearance and she now seems to be here to stay. And, with many of our group being married, I think many are expecting that we'll hook up.

So now, after about a month or so of flirting and calculated withdrawals on my part, lol, I think we may find ourselves on this sudden/unexpected date. And, with her sister in the center of our circle, I would imagine the "results" of our dating life will make it's rounds. So, I just want to make sure that I bring my "A" game.

So, (and I do use the word so quite often) it just seems like everything about this situation is falling under many watchful eyes.

Not that we're going to shag on the first date, but everything might move along quickly (we've already spent some time together in a group setting). Obviously I shouldn't "break out the toys" on the first time, but since I still know very little about her, I just want to make sure what I'm doing is appropriate and/or expected.

(I just got out of a very very long term relationship, so I've been out of the loop for a while)




Edited 8/25/2004 1:51 pm ET ET by thenobleman

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 2:10pm
Sounds good, good luck with everything.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 2:30pm
When my BF and i first did it (not like it was either of our firsts or anything- we just waited a bit for one of those 'right time moment' things. altho we HAD discussed sexual health, birth control, feelings about sex and exclusivity in relationships etc. so we were prepared TO do it, just waiting for the right time)...the best part was that it totally didn't feel planned or set up.

while i DO like the wine/candles/music route- it sometimes to me feels like there's too much effort, i liked it feeling very organic to the moment...for us- he'd just learned some good news and we were going to go out that night to celebrate. he came by to get me and we were hanging out for a minute at my place when we just started to kiss etc on the couch...as WE heated up, it became clear that it was the right moment...

he quietly led me to my bedroom and it happened. no set up...just natural....

the BEST advice i could give is to TAKE YOUR TIME...so often you just want to rip each others clothes off and head right to the promised land...but take your time. feel your hands in her hair, kiss EVERY part of her...slowly take her clothes off (and do it in order! i hate when guys get the bra off first!!)

just be in the moment and soak her in...let her do the same to you and savor every minute!

GOOD LUCK and have fun!

Baby Names - BabyNamey.com Name Badge Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 4:13pm
I think you know the answer(s) already. The "first time" with anyone is rarely if ever "perfect"! Why? Because you don't really know each other yet. You may have certain "proclivities" that you'll hold back, because you don't know how open she is, and she may very well do the same.

Let it happen, when it should happen, be "romantic" (but don't get carried away like Scott Peterson, no champagne and strawberries!), and make sure before hand who's taking care of birth control, safe sex, etc. Lots of foreplay, for sure.

It takes time to build a good sexual relationship, just as much as building the relationship itself.