Penis Deformity??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2006
Penis Deformity??
18
Sun, 05-11-2008 - 8:25pm

I'm 23 and I've been dating this guy, age 25, for a couple months. Things have been going great, but very slow in the physical department, he is shy and hasn't dated a whole lot so I figured he was just nervous. This weekend we finally made it back to the bedroom, but we didn't have sex. When I reached my hands into his pants I was surprised by what was there. This balls are normal size, but his penis is literally the length and circumference of a baby carrot! It's not only small but so thin! I didn't even feel a head on it, but I kinda panicked and went right for the balls. His 'penis' was soft, but he was really into what we were doing. What threw me off what that he never said anything about it after we got dressed, (he never took off his pants so I didn't see it). I feel like I can't bring it up because it took us so long to get here because he has a lot of confidence issues with women. But obviously he knows that I know it's not normal because I had my hands down there...

I guess my first question is, is there a possibility that there is a deformity with his penis? If that is the case, can you still have sex? I can't imagine he would even be able to keep on a condom, because it's so tiny! My second question, do guys still get turned on if they don't really have a working penis? He was grinding his hips against mine, so I'm just confused. Thirdly, is there a way I can go about finding out what's going on down there without making him feel bad?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sun, 05-11-2008 - 11:54pm

Being "small" is not a deformity.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 8:27am

Welcome to the board, vegetarinachick85.

He probably didn't mention anything because he doesn't have a deformed penis. If he did, then it's likely he would mention it.

The size of the flaccid penis varies. Things like body temperature can even make a difference. Before you focus on his size, at the very least, you have to *see* it erect.

Since he has confidence issues to begin with, asking him if his penis is deformed is just going to feed into those issues. The way you can "find out what's going down there without making him feel bad" is by continuing to develop your sexual relationship with him. Until you have sex, that you're both comfortable with, you're not going to know what the real deal is.


















iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2007
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 1:00pm
He could be one of those guys that are really small when their soft. I know when my dh is soft he is very small but when he gets erect it gets a lot bigger.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-1998
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 1:16pm

Like Misty said, "Before you focus on his size, at the very least, you have to *see* it erect." It is impossible to judge from a soft penis. Even with the same guy, his soft penis will change sizes all the time. Didn't you ever see the classic Seinfeld episode where George is seen naked after getting out of a cold pool?

You said "His 'penis' was soft, but he was really into what we were doing." At 25 years old, large or small, why was he soft when you where touching him?
When you reached into his pants, did you feel that his underwear was wet. Since he had been grinding with you, could he have cum in his pants a few minutes earlier?

"Thirdly, is there a way I can go about finding out what's going on down there without making him feel bad?" Get naked with him. Tell him you feel a little grungy and need a shower. Ask him if it isn't too much trouble, could he come in and help you scrub your back ;)
Even without undressing him, have you ever felt his hard penis against your body when you are kissing. You should be able to get a very close estimate of his erect size by touching him through his pants.
If he never gets hard when you are deep kissing and groping... "Houston, we have a problem."

Good Luck
Paul

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2006
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 5:05pm

Thanks so much for responding! I appreciate the feedback.

To answer some questions that was asked. I don’t care if it’s small or not, I’m a very petite woman (5’1” tall, 105 lbs) and sex is normally uncomfortable for me. So smaller would probably be better for me anyway… but that wasn’t what surprised me about his penis…

When I reached in his pants, his underwear was not wet. The thing that made me think there was a problem was that I didn’t feel a head. Even on a soft penis, there would be a noticeable head, right? And when I had asked 'do you want to take this back to the bedroom?' he had picked me up off his lap and had me in the back so quick I was shocked because he normally is so shy LOL.

And the cause for alarm… two different times (one before the ‘bedroom’, and one just yesterday) when we were deep kissing I pushed my hips into his and pulled his butt towards me and I don’t feel ANYTHING there! He had on mesh shorts so I should have been able to feel something. I even reached in and it was soft…. So again, I went right for the balls. I’m confused because he pushes his hips back against mine, grabs for my boobs, and pulls me in really tight when we are kissing… all signs that he’s enjoying it… right?

I made a comment to him while we were kissing yesterday and casually turned it around on me, I told him that I don't have a whole lot of sexual experience, so I wanted him to feel free to tell me what he likes. His response was a smile, 'ok' and then he pulled me back into the kiss...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 9:56pm
Hi V-C85:

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2008
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 11:46pm

Do you think that he may not be circumcised?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2008
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 1:40am
There are women with A and AA cup breasts. Are they deformed?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-1998
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 7:04am

As jaxmom said, what you were probably feeling was an small uncircumcised penis. When covered by the foreskin, you will not see or feel the glans when the penis is not erect (in general).

But small or not, an erect penis will be hard. Since you had him in your hand, he was clearly not. While I would not use the word deformed, I believe your instincts may not be that far off. You have had multiple "make-out sessions and never felt him hard through his shorts. He may be unable to have an erection. If you really want to answer your questions, get him in the shower with you and then kiss you way down his body or the most direct approach...ask.

Good Luck
Paul

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 7:12am

Hi and welcome welp. Nice to meet you. Hey, will you do me a huge favor? Please fill in your profile so we can know something about you. Thanks!


Geesh, I hope not! lol...

05harleybabe2coh420didit3gu.gif picture by nhgal2006




28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

Pages