Penis Deformity??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2006
Penis Deformity??
18
Sun, 05-11-2008 - 8:25pm

I'm 23 and I've been dating this guy, age 25, for a couple months. Things have been going great, but very slow in the physical department, he is shy and hasn't dated a whole lot so I figured he was just nervous. This weekend we finally made it back to the bedroom, but we didn't have sex. When I reached my hands into his pants I was surprised by what was there. This balls are normal size, but his penis is literally the length and circumference of a baby carrot! It's not only small but so thin! I didn't even feel a head on it, but I kinda panicked and went right for the balls. His 'penis' was soft, but he was really into what we were doing. What threw me off what that he never said anything about it after we got dressed, (he never took off his pants so I didn't see it). I feel like I can't bring it up because it took us so long to get here because he has a lot of confidence issues with women. But obviously he knows that I know it's not normal because I had my hands down there...

I guess my first question is, is there a possibility that there is a deformity with his penis? If that is the case, can you still have sex? I can't imagine he would even be able to keep on a condom, because it's so tiny! My second question, do guys still get turned on if they don't really have a working penis? He was grinding his hips against mine, so I'm just confused. Thirdly, is there a way I can go about finding out what's going on down there without making him feel bad?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2008
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 9:23am

The problem you are talking about is called microphallus (micropenis). During early fetal development you can not detect any difference between male or female fetuses even though chromosome development is normal XX for females and XY for males.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2006
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 7:25pm

“Do you think that he may not be circumcised? This could be one reason why you don't feel a distinct head on his penis b/c it is being covered by his foreskin.”

-I’ve never been with a guy who wasn’t circumcised, I hadn’t thought of that possibility!

“There are women with A and AA cup breasts. Are they deformed?”
-I wasn’t asking if he was deformed because he’s small, I wear an A cup myself (ironically, I was nervous about getting naked with him b/c of my small boobs)… I was asking if he was deformed because I didn’t feel a head and because I’ve never felt it hard... deformed wasn't the right word, but I kinda panicked when I wrote my initial posting because I didn't know what was going on.

“I believe your instincts may not be that far off... He may be unable to have an erection.”
-Can you still be really into it and not have an erection or do they go hand-in-hand?

I really really really appreciate the suggestions being given!! Unfortunately I’m going away this weekend so I will not see him for a week, but when I get back maybe that will be a good time to try again... especially since we will have been apart for a while.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 10:48pm
“I believe your instincts may not be that far off... He may be unable to have an erection.”


-Can you still be really into it and not have an erection or do they go hand-in-hand?"


He can still be really into it without an erection. When guys have Erectile Dysfunction(ED), they often are shy to be sexually active because they can't count on having an erection. They can, however, pleasure themselves. The penis does not need to be erect for him to have an orgasm, but he may be too shy with a partner to have that happen.


Here's some info on ED:



iVillage Total Health: Erectile Dysfunction Affects 18 Million US Men

http://yourtotalhealth.ivillage.com/diet-fitness/erectile-dysfunction-affects-18-million-us-men.html



How Stuff Works: Erectile Dysfunction

http://health.howstuffworks.com/how-erectile-dysfunction-works2.htm



Wikipedia: Erectile Dysfunction

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erectile_dysfunction



Net Doctor: Impotence

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/impotence.htm



Medicine Net: Causes of Impotence

http://www.medicinenet.com/impotence_ed/page2.htm#cause



Mayo Clinic: Erectile Dysfunction

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/erectile-dysfunction/DS00162/DSECTION=3


















iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 11:45pm

An uncircumsized penis was my first thought in response to your not feeling a head.


He may have a very small penis, he may just not have been very hard, if at all.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 3:28am
Hi, Chick.
I think you've received great answers from the other posters. I just want to add that some penises are conical. Maybe that's the case and that's why you can't feel the head. As for it being soft, in spite of the touching, maybe he has a physical problem or maybe he's just nervous. If you find out more about this, keep us posted!
Good luck!

ScorpioWoman, Proud Winner of the 2008 Victor Hugo Memorial Run-On Sentence Award


We kittens may be cute and lovable, but don't forget we have claws...

ScorpioWoman, Proud Winner of the 2008 Victor Hugo Memorial Run-On Sentence Award

We kittens may be cute and lovable, b

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2006
Thu, 05-22-2008 - 8:01pm

I want to thank everyone for all your advice on this topic. I'll admit I was really freaked out in the beginning but you all have given me wonderful answers and I felt confident enough for another go.

Some of you asked for an update so here goes... so after getting back from my trip I visited my guy and we started getting hot and heavy, although he was really shy about it, I did stick my hands down his pants and was massaging his balls and rubbing the length of his penis with my thumb, though I was still a little freaked out about not feeling a head on it. I went back to his balls and when I touched his penis again it had grown like 10x the size it was! Seriously, it was the size of my pinkie finger then all of a sudden it was a full out hard penis, head and all LOL. I know that a soft penis is small, and you all told me that, but I didn't know there could be that big of a difference in size. So needless to say I was a happy to know there is no physical problem with my guy, other then he is just nervous as hell around me LOL. So now I just have to work on that little issue ;)

So thanks again everyone!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Fri, 05-23-2008 - 7:38am
I am so glad you came back and updated us on what is going on!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2008
Fri, 05-23-2008 - 8:49am

Circumcision is a possibility. You can usually tell by pulling back the foreskin the next time you get the chance. Just touching can be misleading. If you've seen the penis of a young boy that hasn't been clipped, the foreskin can be almost as long as the penis itself giving a tapered look to the penis. In most adult males you'll usually be able to see part of the head of the penis. The size of the penis and the scrotum is temperature controlled. This is where science and the study of physiology

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