penis gets softer during intercourse

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2007
penis gets softer during intercourse
3
Sat, 04-28-2007 - 7:26pm
One of the things that surprised me most about my DH was his stamina. Our lovemaking sessions last a long time, sometimes longer than I would like. One thing I noticed is that during the lovemaking, his penis gets softer and then harder and then softer again. Is this normal? I feel like when it is getting softer that I am not pleasing enough to him, that it isn't feeling good enough. On rare occasions, he cannot ejaculate, but seems like he could go forever. When this happens, he says it is "stuck" from holding back so many times when he was about to cum. Does this really happen? I really feel that I am not "doing it" for him when these things happen. Last night I asked him if he was satisfied with our sex life, and he started laughing at me. When I asked him why, he said of course I am satisfied....I was blessed with a woman that is horny all the time. There is really no reason to think I would not be satisfying him during our lovemaking, but when he doesn't finish, I think it is something I did that turned him off.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sat, 04-28-2007 - 11:07pm
A guy's penis naturally varies in hardness during lovemaking. Usually it occurs if he's busy concentrating on something else, like giving you some more attention, but if your husband is the type of guy that likes to extend the intercourse by holding back his orgasm then I'm not surprised that the hardness varies. Not cumming isn't always a bad thing either. I'd beleive him if he says that he is happy and that everything is good.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sun, 04-29-2007 - 1:14am

What you do or don't do has nothing to do with how hard he is, or how long it takes him to ejaculate. His body and brain controls that.

That's like a woman who's with a man who has ED saying "it must be me". It has nothing to do with you beyond the fact that he's happy to be with you, and what is happening to him is NORMAL. It happens to all men.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sun, 04-29-2007 - 2:05pm

Welcome to the board aubryann. Since your DH is able to last a long time, I don't think it has anything to do with you not pleasing him. If he wasn't aroused by the activity, he would loose his erection all together.

I think the frequency of your sex may affect this, but he could also be having problems with ED. Depending on his age, medical condition, medications that he takes, stress, etc., ED can become a factor, even in a mild form. It doesn't sound like it's anything to worry about right now, as it sounds as if he is just getting a little "less hard", but if he begins to have difficulty getting and maintaining an erection, he should talk with his doctor about it.



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