Penis Size Debate

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2004
Penis Size Debate
97
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 11:37pm

If others have seen my posts on penis size, completely ignore them because I often post when I am frustrated or temporarily insane.

Anyhow, the debate goes on and on, and reflecting on all the archives, it is the same story, but yet everyone can begin the debate all over, like me. Here is my take on it.

Does size matter? Depends. If yes, how much? Depends.

I took a rough survey using the 700 plus posts on the subject and I have come up with really rough numbers that classify 4 types of women. Now, women who dont really care about size because they dont really care too much about sex are not included. I am tempted to not include women who have only had less than 3 partners, but I figured that is too discriminating, although 80% of women now probably do have at least 3 partners, so.....

Anyhow, here is my take

35%(group A) Size doesnt matter in the slightest for all intensive purposes
45%(group B) They "prefer" big enough to feel completely full, but if not, no worries.
15%(group C) They NEED to feel quite full.
5% (group E) size queen (Need to be filled and a whole lot more!)

I dont want to get into semantics about G-spots, hot spots in the vagina, size of vagina, etc. Lets just say that being full means a very snug/tight feeling around the penis for a sufficient "enough" depth. For some, that could be 5x4.5, and for others, 9x7.

Now, men who are insecure (or secure well hung macho-bacho men) will feel that 65% (45+15+5) of women think size is quite important. The insecure men might hear a completely honest woman from group B say, "7.5x5.5 is better(all else equal), but 5.5x4.5 will do just fine", and feel bad about it.

If men are secure, they might feel that 80% (45+35) of women dont care to a significant degree. Among the women who do care, some only need "6x5" to feel full enough anyway.

My numbers are HIGHLY debatable, but ASSUMING they are right, my conclusion is:

Even though size does clearly "matter" for the simple majority, a confident man will find that it only REALLY matters 20% of the time at MOST! This is how I feel personally.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 11:53pm

And guess what? YOUR personal feelings on the issue are the only feelings that matter! There's no need for a debate.

For all INTENTS and purposes, hopefully we will all find what we want in life.

I hope I'm reading this wrong: "women who dont really care about size because they dont really care too much about sex are not included".......I hope you mean that women who SAID they don't care about size because they don't care about sex.....as opposed to you assuming that a woman who doesn't care about size just doesn't care about sex. That would be a ridiculous assumption on your part! I don't recall EVER reading a reply from a woman in a size debate saying she didn't care about size BECAUSE she doesn't care about sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2004
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 3:52am

~And guess what? YOUR personal feelings on the issue are the only feelings that matter! There's no need for a debate.~
You are right, my personal feelings are all that matters, but there is a penis size debate whether one is needed or not. There has been for years, and it will probably go on and on and on.

~For all INTENTS and purposes, hopefully we will all find what we want in life.~
Hopefully :)

~I hope I'm reading this wrong: "women who dont really care about size because they dont really care too much about sex are not included"~
I am not sure how you're reading it, but women who could care less about sex, often could care less about any of its attributes, including size. Since we are discussing penis size, it is best to sample the population of women that consider sexual satisfaction important. Lets not debate further on this though.

Did this post rub you the wrong way or something?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 10:25am

Your post didn't "rub me the wrong way" at all. But your "assumptions" sure did. YOUR statement (assumption) that women who don't care about size are just not that interested in sex is ridiculous.

I'm one woman who is very interested in sex, and I don't really care about size. I'm sure I'm not the only woman who truly enjoys sex but doesn't place much importance on size. I'm also sure I'm in the majority. Size doesn't mean a whole lot in the big picture. If you care for a man, and he cares for you, AND he understands that there's a lot more to "making love" than penis size, everything will be just fine. Of course, if a man is abnormally tiny, or abnormally huge, then yes, size can enter into it. For a tiny man, HIS satisfaction could be a problem. For a huge man, the size can be a problem if he's clueless about the pain he might cause. Fortunately, the law of averages says that very few men are of abnormal size, most are in the average range, give or take an inch or so.

Strangely enough, your "statistics" are probably about right. If you'd poll a few thousand women about their preferences, leaving out your baseless assumption about whether or not a woman is interested in sex, it would probably come out about the same. More than likely 15-20% of women do care about size. That's THEIR problem. I've never figured out how a woman's feelings for a man can be based on the size of their penis, any more than a man's feelings can be based on a woman's breast size. If you care for a person, you accept them the way they are, because there's very little or nothing (in the case of a penis) that can be done to change things.

And I don't think that a TRULY confident man would concern himself with that 20% of women. He would or should know that if a woman rejects him because he's lacking an inch or two of average, it's HER loss, not his. A truly confident man knows that it's not the size, it's what he does with it and every other "tool" at his disposal.

Don't ever assume that a mature intelligent woman who says she's not concerned with size is also not interested in sex. There is NO basis in fact for that assumption. And hopefully, you know what "assume" means.

So, yes, THAT part of your "poll" rubbed me the wrong way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 1:04pm

Dakine, like you, when I first read that comment, I interpreted it the same as you did. However, when I further read on and saw his break-down by percentages, I think I understood what he meant. He said: "Now, women who dont really care about size because they dont really care too much about sex are not included." Key word being "because." What he was trying to say is that a woman who is not interested in sex at all, wouldn't be interested in size, not that women who don't care about size are not interested in sex. tee hee

BTW, I do agree with your post, particularly the part about accepting the person you love for all that they are. Even if a man had a two inch penis, I would love ALL of him because that's what HE/the man I love was blessed with. I would work with it, not against it. I can't imagine rejecting a man because his penis is not a certain size. Take care.

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 1:37pm

I can't imagine rejecting a man due to his size either.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 4:33pm
This is my take on the size debate..There will always be a size queens.. For what ever reason they want/need a bigger than average penis.. My guess is that many of these women have larger than normal sized vaginas.I have been with a couple women who were not only very wide/loose/ whatever you want to call it, and they were also very deep (at least deepr than I was long.)
One thing I dont get, is that women always seem to refer to length when size is refered to, but all the polls say that girth/thickness/ is the most important quality.
Most women also say that they really dont feel anything (except pain) down near the cervix or deeper. So what is the difference between a 5" and an 8"??
Then there is the "cul de sac. Some women say there IS feeling at the far end of the vagina.Most women say no ones ever been that deep so they dont know. Others say it does nothing for them,having a man in that deep.
As a man who is a little longer than average, and thicker than average, I have been with women who were too short inside for me, (so I had to be careful about hitting bottom) deep enough so that I touched nothing, so tight that it was almost painful, and so loose it wasn`t all that pleasurable.
Most of the women I have been with were a good fit. I have also been told by a couple women that once inside it is very hard for THEM to tell the difference between a 5" and a 7".Both said 8" hit bottom and was painful
So my conclusion is there is no conclusion.. We all are different shapes and sizes, both male and female. A small percentage of people have definate preferences, but for the most part, most sizes will adapt to other sizes just fine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 5:20pm

Hump, just a few notes. First off, if you go to the-clitoris.com. Click on "frames" then click on the left side "orgasm" and then scroll down to the middle of the page where you'll see a diagram of four stages of arousal. Click on it and it will enlarge it. This will help us to better understand how this all works.

The average vagina length is only 3-4" deep. I believe the cul-de-sac is only another 1" or 2(but it can stretch a lot further). Some women's vagina's are longer, but not by that much. If you look at the differences between the excitement phase and the plateau phase, you can see the cul-de-sac and the way that the uterus moves so that the cervix sort of moves out of the way. Now for me, if I'm highly aroused, and I have that urge to be stimulated deep(fulfilled), it's really not all that deep. I can use my finger which isn't that long and push it in deep and it will stimulate the area which as best I can tell is right at the top of the anterior wall. Also, as far as I can tell, the "curve" of the penis may have something to do with whether or not it hits the cervix and also whether or not the woman actually ever enters into the "plateau" phase. If she doesn't, then it would make sense that the cervix may be in the way and the cul-de-sac is never created making room for even an average penis. Also, even if she does enter into the "plateau" phase, if the penis has an upward curve or a downward curve, it seems that it will more likely hit the cervix regardless(also dependent upon the sex position they are engaging in--doggie might be more likely to hit the cervix directly.)

With MRI's available(for live images of actual intercourse), I think that much more will be explained in the future. I think that the variables are just too vast(amount and consistency of lubrication, amount and state of arousal(both woman and man)(again if you look at the "plateau" phase diagram you'll see that the bottom first third of the vagina will actually close which should create a "tighter" sensation), the size and length of the vagina and penis as well the shape of the penis to come to conclude any one variable as the culprit for "feeling" loose or hitting "bottom." Two women may have the same length vagina and yet one will have no problem fitting an 9" penis and the other might hit the cervix. And even if two vaginas of the same length could accommodate a 9" penis, one might feel looser and one might feel tighter for many other reasons. It's just not as simple as it appears, that's all. ;-)

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 5:36pm
Good info rain... Believe me there are different depths of vaginas. I know all about the cervix and how it pulls back to make room... Some women can take a niner all the way in but most women can`t. Some womens cervix will move out of the way when they are "ready" and some do not move as much. My wife had a college boy friend 9". She hated having sex with him, he was young and thought all sex was about was thrusting as fast and as deep as he could(especially when HE was getting close).. she sais she couldnt have sex for 2 or 3 days after because she would be sore "inside". she said she would be ready and very wet, but he was "just too damn long"....I`m 7" and I know women where that is too long for them, I had to be careful not to go so deep that I hit bottom.. I can tell if its a cervix or not.. with some women We can actually move past it,ifare gentle (if it hasnt moved by its self... I normally never tried incertion untill they were totally ready, many times after they had come thru oral.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 5:56pm

"My wife had a college boy friend 9". She hated having sex with him, he was young and thought all sex was about was thrusting as fast and as deep as he could(especially when HE was getting close).. she sais she couldnt have sex for 2 or 3 days after because she would be sore "inside". she said she would be ready and very wet, but he was "just too damn long"

You see, Hump, that's the thing. You said "She hated having sex with him." She was probably so afraid of it that she may never have actually entered into the plateau phase--it can even be subconscious. Just because a woman is wet, doesn't mean she's aroused. Many women will have sex just because they want to please their partner. They'd rather suffer(as did you wife), than refuse their men. It's like vaginismus. It's mostly psychological, even to the point where a small penis can't enter.

"....I`m 7" and I know women where that is too long for them, I had to be careful not to go so deep that I hit bottom.. I can tell if its a cervix or not.. with some women We can actually move past it,ifare gentle (if it hasnt moved by its self... I normally never tried incertion untill they were totally ready, many times after they had come thru oral."

Well...again, I'm not saying that this didn't happen to you, just that there could be other reasons. These women may not have been properly aroused, regardless of whether or not you believe that they had orgasms(another one of my theories is that women have a local arousal(but can still orgasm) and a deeper full-arousal-- particularly if they were one night stands or short term relationships. Many women take a long time to "warm" up and actually relax and orgasm with a new man, even though they may appear to be "into it" or they could just be locally aroused and orgasming. But no one will ever know for sure, so it's all speculation. As I said, I await further scientific info. ;-)




Edited 3/11/2006 5:59 pm ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 6:22pm
rain , I think I know if a woman is turned on and ready, so do they, lets just say that women come in diff depths

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