Penis Size Remix

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Penis Size Remix
82
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 11:05am
I just read the Average Penis Size thread from a few days ago. There were quite a few posts I thought to be interesting. First, a reoccurring theme seemed to be that it is more important for a man to be good lover instead of being hung like a horse. My question to this is why do the two characteristics need to be independent? Wouldn't a man with a large penis have a natural advantage in becoming a good lover? Wouldn't women prefer the man with a larger penis if all other things were equal? “Hitting bottom” is supposed to be quite uncomfortable for women, but occasionally dealing with this seems better than working with the empty feeling of a small penis. I strongly agree that there are infinitely more important things than penis size when it comes to relationships, but it seems to be important for sex. Most women seem to dismiss that they might prefer the larger man if he was also a good lover. Secondly, there seemed to be a great deal of surprise that men and women might actually measure. Nearly all the guys in my dorm knew their size down to a quarter inches in college, and many girls I knew openly questioned and discussed various guys and their size. Even my wife (then fiancé) eagerly measured my length and girth when the opportunity arose. It may seem trite, but I think it is inaccurate to dismiss the importance of penis size as it relates to specifically to sex.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
In reply to: alex78
Sat, 04-30-2005 - 5:13pm

rain dancer:
"It seems that so much emphasis is put on penis size(as it applies to women), but what about stamina? I didn't really get to enjoy intercourse or know that I could even orgasm during it(with or without clitoral stimulation) because it never lasted long enough. It wasn't until my DH began to calm down ;-) and learned how to control himself and last, that I learned how to really enjoy it. Up to that point, I always felt that intercourse was mainly for the man anyhow, so what would it matter what his penis looked like? "

I'm so glad you brought this up. We are told that only 20% of women orgasm from intercourse. Is it because ALL the men they've had intercourse with have penises that are too small? Highly unlikely. Then it is said that the average man lasts about 5 minutes during intercourse. And that women require something like 15 minutes of stimulation to orgasm. Is this "gap" the reason why so many women don't orgasm from intercourse? Seems probable to me.

I think numbers matter and the numbers are minutes, not inches.

It's not how long it is when hard, but

How long it stays hard.

BTW, stamina and staying power IS something men can change. They can't change their penis size.

taoist

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2005
In reply to: alex78
Sat, 04-30-2005 - 6:41pm
No, not at all, I mean, yes, immensely. Confused? Me too! She definately enjoys sex, she just REALLY enjoys intercourse. She is not the typical romantic type of woman. What I mean is she isn't all into the lighting, or music, or extended foreplay. She just would rather skip the formalities and get right down to it. We have sex 4-5 times a week and I feel lucky to have a wife who DOES enjoy sex (intercourse), I just wish sometimes she would slow down and view the scenery, so to speak. Are any of you other women out there like that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: alex78
Sat, 04-30-2005 - 7:43pm
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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
In reply to: alex78
Sat, 04-30-2005 - 10:49pm

No, I'm not like that. I wouldn't be happy with fast-hard intercourse alone as a steady diet. I would miss all of the turn-ons which is really what sex is all about for me. For instance, while I'm performing oral on DH, the visual, aroma, tastes are all working on MY body at the same time. I can feel myself getting more and more aroused. Then when we proceed to intercourse(and it could be slow and hard), I envision that I'm still giving him oral at the same time which brings on an intense orgasm. Don't get me wrong, we do quickies all of the time that entail a few minutes of intercourse alone, and they're very satisfying, I just feel that there's so much more to sex that's important....and that's the mind. I need to arouse my mind(to arouse my body) by stimulating all five senses, not simply by genital to genital contact. I would miss too much by having sex each and every time the exact same way.

So you think that anything other than fast-hard intercourse is a formality?




Edited 4/30/2005 11:40 pm ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
In reply to: alex78
Sun, 05-01-2005 - 12:22am
taoist - you have a very good point. Stamina is critical for us guys to have if most ladies are to climax. i am lucky in that i can go for 30 - 40 min w/ ease. however, my ex could never climax with me no matter how long we were making love. she just was not "wired" that way. clitoral was the only way she could get the right stimulation and even that required alot of time. other lovers i've had have been able to climax multiple times during intercourse. karen comes to mind - she would start climaxing within a minute of me entering her. she told me she'd never had a bf that she could do this with before me. i think alot of it is how a couple "fits" together and how a woman's sexual nerves are "wired" inside of her. for some women (like karen) my penis shape hit all of her internal pleasure nerves - for others that was not the case at all - try as we may. not that lovemaking wasn't lovely and pleasureful for us both - it just required some adjustments in our methods for her to climax. and any lover worth his salt wants to make sure she climaxes before the loving is over. stamina definitely helps in this regard for most women - but - even stamina won't help if she's not wired for climaxes thru intercourse. but ... that's when sexual imagination comes into it's own. right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
In reply to: alex78
Sun, 05-01-2005 - 10:04am

WoW 76 other reply's in 4 days that has got to be a record

I have read through this thread- no not in one sitting.
And thought that perhaps we covet the thing's we dont have or at least until we have tried them, whether it's a larger than average peins, breast's ,smaller butt whatever, then we probably go back to what we know or are comfortable with.

I have a larger than average length and girth, and he has been described ''a monster'', some women loved it some were perhaps intimidated by him.

Believe me there are many more down sides than up sides,

limited positions without discomfort for her,
usually no second's or prolonged sessions of pure intercourse as she start's to ache, almost no oral,
quickies are out unless she is already worked up as good foreplay is a must,
only rarely would we make love 2 days in a row- as she still aches or so she tell's me so I respect that,
so we just find other ways to the same goal - oral for her - masturb*tion for me

For the most part my love has grown used to him

Just my thought's
cheers Jacobiteone

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2005
In reply to: alex78
Sun, 05-01-2005 - 10:50am

No, when I said she's happy to skip the formalities, I meant she's happy to skip the majority of the foreplay. She gets wet very quickly just by kissing, so the main course (with oral and finger play being appetizers) starts very quickly. They are not quickies though. Because we don't spend much time playing, I'm not too far gone and can last 15-20 minutes. Maybe that is a quickie, I don't know. It's just become the norm for me. I have talked to her about what I want more of, but she doesn't really take that into consideration. We have fought about it and I've explained that she's self centered in bed and I want more, but all she does is get defensive and thinks I'm criticising. When she DOES "play along" and gives me oral, she definately gets defensive if I ask her to slow down or not to forget the jewels. She, again, takes it as I'm telling her she'd doing it "wrong" and takes it personally, so I try not to be "picky". Her idea of a BJ is to "simulate" intercorse with her mouth. Like I said, she enjoys intercourse, just not everything that leads to it. If she ever knew I was telling this to all of you, she'd go ballistic!

Wait, I reread your post and I guess the answer is yes. Anything but intercourse IS a formality, so to speak. Let me also add, just to be clear, that does have orgasms. Once she's ready, she gets on top and cums, then I keep going until I do. It's definately not that she doesn't like sex. You know, it's almost like she has the "typical male" problem of no consideration, and I have the "typical female" problem of not getting enough intimacy and foreplay.

Edited 5/1/2005 10:51 am ET ET by worrieddadof3




Edited 5/1/2005 10:58 am ET ET by worrieddadof3
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
In reply to: alex78
Sun, 05-01-2005 - 12:37pm
Mac,
I haven't been around for a few days...
Thank you for the book help.
I will look into it most definitely.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
In reply to: alex78
Sun, 05-01-2005 - 12:38pm

Would she refuse a massage? It may help her slow down a bit. Tell her you want to give her a massage. You both get naked and you use mineral oil or a flavored oil. You give her a regular massage concentrating on each body part(including her lower face and neck) for about two minutes each(or until the oil absorbs in that area). All during the massage you rub her or glide your erection on wherever it is it falls. You also here and there kiss her deeply, give her oral(not too long), and she does you(when you oil her face, rub your penis on her cheeks and over her lips. tell her you only want her to lick you. She can't emulate intercourse if she just licks you.), and manual as well. The trick is not to stay on any one thing too long....move on to the next area avoiding the high points until you choose. ;-) This whole thing should last about half an hour. Her body should be screaming for pleasure by this point. Go and wash your penis or make sure all of the oil is absorbed, and then try slow and hard intercourse. Tell her you don't want her to move because this is all about her. I can't imagine her not LOVING this. Maybe she'll learn to like the tease. She'll like it so much, she'll want to return the favor. Just remember that the longer she has to wait for release of some sort, the more aroused she'll become. I guarantee she won't need 15 minutes. ;-) I think this might help her to see the "other side." Besides, you as the giver will reap many rewards.

P.S. I forgot to add to start with her on her stomach. Do that side first and then flip her over.




Edited 5/1/2005 4:22 pm ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2005
In reply to: alex78
Sun, 05-01-2005 - 7:36pm
Actually, I do give her massages, and it can be a prelude to other things I like, but the issue is HOW she does it, not just that she occasionally does "allow" more than the usual. As I said, if I ask her to change the way she does stuff (slower, faster, harder, sofetr, etc) that is not 'straightforward', she takes it personally and gets defensive, like I'm being critical, even though I'm NOT being critical, I'm just trying to tell her what feels good. Noone has ANY fun when that happens. As for giving a massage and telling her not to move and that it's all about her, I do. But the outcome is, she doesn't move and none of what you described can happen. Catch 22 right? She does enjoy my massages, but as far as returning the favor , as I said before, she's pretty self centered in bed and it really isn't in her to return favors without prompting. Sometimes I make deals with her to get what I want, like doing all the laundry or cleaning the house in exchange for "pleasures", but then she's doing it (whatever "it" may be) out of obligation, not desire. And there is a whole lot of difference between a BJ from desire and one out of obligation. As she says, I guess I shouldn't complain too much though because we do have sex regularly, but in my opinion sex is more than just f#&%ing.

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