Peyronies

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
Peyronies
7
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 1:59pm
My SO has peyronies. Its shortened his "unit" significantly to where intercourse is out of the question. It has really effected his self esteem in the bedroom department. As a woman, I cant relate but it honestly is not something I would leave him for. Any advise from men who have this condition? Our love making is amazing otherwise. Thanks in advance for your comments.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2006
In reply to: yoursonly2
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 8:43pm


I have not actually heard of this medical condition "peyronies" so I went to search the web, everything I am reading is in mention to curvature or pain when the penis becomes erect, but there have been known incidents of lenght, it is caused by some sorta plaque buildup.

Has your SO always had this condition or has it just recently appeared, as long as he is seeking medical advise and your love making is not to effected you should be able to work around it.
Keep loving each other and be happy, great to see you are not concidering leaving him due to this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
In reply to: yoursonly2
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 12:19am

I just wanted to say that I think it's great, and enlightened and mature of you, that you're willing to make such a sacrifice for love. Your SO is one lucky guy :-)

I, too, thought that Peyronie's was an extreme curvature of the penis. I guess he's consulted with a urologist? As far as self-esteem goes, I really believe that a healthy body image is vital to a healthy sex life. I think counseling could help your SO to overcome his anxieties. I knew one guy who was abnormally small, but he learned to deal with it by making the most of his assets. He was very sexy, and not only because he kept himself in good shape, but because he oozed confidence. He was an amazing lover and knew it. I learned about the power of body acceptance from him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
In reply to: yoursonly2
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 8:04am

His condition developed from an old scar tissue injury when he was a teen. There are cases in which surgery is beneficial. However, his case can not be operated on because of the location. If he chose to have surgery it might him totally disfunctional. As stated previously, our love making is wonderful. It the fact he feels less of a man because we are unable to have intercourse. His peyronies has taken so much of the length off.

Thanks for your response!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
In reply to: yoursonly2
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 8:23am

My SO is working hard to overcome his insecurities about his looks. He used to be a large man - 6'4" over 300 lbs. He looks great now. He is still recalling the hatefull words of his exwife though such as he will never find someone that will love him for who he really is. I believe it will take time for him to trust me when I say that I would never leave because of his looks or because of his medical condition.

He has just wondered if there were other men who might have suggestions in the bedroom department who also struggle with peyronies. I continue to reassure him that he is totally satisfying my needs and our communication remains open.

Thanks again for your response!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
In reply to: yoursonly2
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 9:27am

As you said in your last post, there is more to this than the peyronies! This guy (and MANY guys) equate their manhood with their size, and by their erections, and they are SOOO wrong! Add to that the fact that someone he cared about put him down about it. He's got self esteem issues, and the peyronies just exacerbates it in his own mind. You can tell him that you're completely satisfied, but he's not going to believe you because he feels inadequate. What his ex did to him probably caused MORE harm and insecurity than the peyronies! It's actually a form of brainwashing, and it probably will take more than you trying to make him believe that you're not unhappy with him. He might need some counselling to help him get his self esteem back.

As for the physical problem......good for you that you realize that intercourse is only a small part of sex, and that most of us get just as much pleasure (if not more) from everything else....now you have to try to make him understand that. Easier said than done unfortunately. See if you can get him to try some counselling to get over his lack of self esteem.. Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
In reply to: yoursonly2
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 11:51am

Excellent point! Thanks so much for all the replies!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
In reply to: yoursonly2
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 8:52pm

"What his ex did to him probably caused MORE harm and insecurity than the peyronies! It's actually a form of brainwashing, and it probably will take more than you trying to make him believe that you're not unhappy with him."

I think that's an excellent point, about the brainwashing and the harm it caused, and perhaps you could find a way to work that into conversation someday. There are insecure and manipulative people who criticize their partner's appearance as a means to keep them from leaving. Keep a person's self-esteem low enough and they won't want to risk rejection from someone else. No one is dense enough to not know that a negative comment about someone's physical attributes will wound that person's self-worth. I've had it happen to me. My ex-husband would throw in little jabs, very casually and seemingly innocently, about my appearance and it killed me inside. It took a long time and self-esteem building before I was able to acknowledge what had happened and how it had affected my body image. It's an insidiously cruel thing to do to a person.