Please Assist - Female Orgasm Issue
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| Thu, 12-23-2004 - 8:09pm |
Hello all! I'm hoping someone here can shed some light on a situation I'm in.
I am dating this wonderful 26 year old woman, and she has a sexual hangup I've never run into or even heard about. Once she reaches a certain level of sexual pleasure / stimulation, she has this sudden urge to stop all sexual contact completely. I.E. we'll be in the middle of foreplay, and she's feeling really good, and better, and then WHUMP she just can't even stand to be touched for one more second, at least sexually.
She's never been molested, she's never been with a 'bad' or abusive lover, and she's got an amazing body that she's fairly comfortable with (being seen naked is no problem, doesn't seem to be self conscious about anything in particular). But she can only get so aroused before she 'shuts down' as she calls it.
She's had this problem forever. Needless to say, she's never had an orgasm. Of course at first this intrigued me, and being a generous/attentive lover with a history of being able to get the most 'frigid' (bad term, but you know what I mean) woman to reach climax, I thought I could help her with this. But the problem isn't that she hasn't been pleasured properly before; the problem is that once she reaches a certain level of pleasure, she shuts down.
I asked her how she managed to have sex with her other partners, and she told me that the only way to do it was to be sure to have intercourse before she was really aroused, and then stop if she actually got aroused during the sex. Can you believe that!?! The only way she can have sex is if she can do it in a way that is totally pleasure-less.
I really feel sorry for her and would like to help somehow. If any of you have any feedback, it'd be much appreciated.

Hi Bdking:
You need to get her to a sex counselor or therapist.
Hello, I have had the same problem as your girlfriend sometimes, although I don't make the sex stop, I kind restrain myself from having a major orgasm. I think I'm partly scared to have an orgrasm, especially when a guy is going down on me. I'm afraid I'll just "let loose" and go to the bathroom on him or something. It's fear of the reaction. I have been able to come to orgasm..but after like 7 years of having sex, it's only happened one or two times. I usually just don't get stimulated enough,..but when I'm getting close, I tense up and hold back for some odd reason.