Please Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2005
Please Help
10
Sun, 07-17-2005 - 3:36am
I am not sure this goes here but I am also unsure where to post this. And please don't make fun of me. I am just newly married and I was a virgin. So I have had no experience with sex. I got on birth control because I have rather rough periods. My husband and I do not use condoms. However, this has brought up a problem because I have no idea what to do when he ejaculates inside me. Is there an etiquette? I like to be on top and I have no idea what to do? It just leaks out and I am embarrassed. Please help with some suggestions? What do other women do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2005
In reply to: calvmorr
Sun, 07-17-2005 - 3:44am

Calvmorr, please don't feel embarressed. That's perfectly normal for his ejaculation to leak out afterward. That's normal, in fact and happens to me,as well.
As for 'etiquette,' I'm not really sure any applies. It's the comfort level(which you don't have currently, yet you WILL) between you and your new husband.
If it leaks out a lot, simply wipe yourself or even have HIM wipe you. There is more to 'intimacy' then merely sexual intercourse and sex/lovemaking, PERIOD. For him to do this, could provide you both with higher levels of intimacy..sharing this 'after the moment' time together, kwim?
Take a shower together, to clean up afterward. That would be fun, too :)

You'll do fine! Promise :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
In reply to: calvmorr
Sun, 07-17-2005 - 9:14am
Don't be embarrassed about this. For me, it's a real turnon to watch my semen seeping out of my partner. There's a special intimacy to it, knowing that part of my body is still inside her after the lovemaking.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: calvmorr
Sun, 07-17-2005 - 9:37am
Hi Calvmorr and welcome to the board.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
In reply to: calvmorr
Sun, 07-17-2005 - 1:38pm
We keep a box of tissues by the bed, and just use them to clean up whenever we're ready. Sometime I use the tissues to catch the flow when I stand up or dismount, or sometimes we stay and cuddle for awhile before we worry about it. I usually go to the bathroom soon after sex, anyway, since I'm prone to urinary tract infections and this prevents that. I just clean up in the bathroom then. Sometimes when I come out, I'll bring my DH a warm wet washcloth so he can clean up too (or I do it for him). It's just a little gesture that shows I care, and then no one has to worry about sleeping on the wet spot, nor washing the sheets every time we have sex!
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: calvmorr
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 1:58am

IF the leaking bothers you that much, take a quick trip to the bathroom, pop in a tampon for half an hour or so and that should take care of THAT!

But sex is messy and much of the fluids you're leaking are HIS, so why should YOU be embarrassed? I'm sure most of us simply grab a couple of tissues off the nightstand and dry off.




Edited 7/18/2005 2:01 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: calvmorr
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:01am
When I dismount, all the semen seems to fall into his navel. It started at first by accident, but these days I discretely give it a little 'push' on my way past - so he gets to clean up instead of me
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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: calvmorr
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 12:50pm
LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2005
In reply to: calvmorr
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:35pm
LOL....I do that all the time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
In reply to: calvmorr
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 5:29pm

I wouldn't feel embarassed at all, but I do understand that you are new at sex and what's normal to all of us who have been doing it for years may seem awkward to you. I usually go right to the bathroom after sex and clean up and then I cuddle with dh afterwards. Everyone is so different in what they like or don't like. If you don't want it to leak out and it embarasses you, clean it up. If you and dh don't really care about it, don't worry so much about it coming out.


I personally don't enjoy the leaking feeling so I even put on a panty liner afterward. I'm probably one of very few women who do that but it's what feels best for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2005
In reply to: calvmorr
Tue, 07-19-2005 - 3:32pm

Thank you all so much! It was really comforting to hear how other women deal with it. I love my husband very much and I talked to him about everything and he very supportive to me. I am just so thankful for all the great ideas. It was just so awkward when you don't know what to expect and it being the first time and all. Everyone's experiences were very helpful.

Take care,
Alice