please help me with some sex advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
please help me with some sex advice
3
Tue, 07-29-2014 - 1:44am

I'm in my late 20s and not very sexually experienced. I'm seeing a girl I really like, and I don't want bad sex to ruin it (this happened to me with a prior relationship, no joke, and it killed my confidence). I have a small penis (5.5 in x4.5) and what's worse is that her ex-bf apparenltly is well known for having a big one (this does not help the confidence factor). Regardless, I will try my best to amaze her, and planned on relying upon oral sex and g-spot manipulation until she orgasms far before penetration. But i have some concerns, so maybe someone can help me:

1.) what if she asks me to penetrate her before she's orgasmed? (this has happened before, and I never know what to do, but my insecurity always leads me to believe making her come first through oral is the better option). I do not want to see the look of disappointemt in her face when she isn't feeling me inside her.

2.) I have heard women can squirt, but that it feels like peeing. How do I comfortably tell a girl who isn't sexually comfortable with me yet to allow herself to yield to the pee feeling (assuming i can even get her to this point).

3.) I'm afraid relying on oral sex is going to get boring to her (again, assuming she even stays with me long enough to get bored). Is there anything I can do to avoid that? Different cunnilingus positions or something? Do women get bored with being gone down on?

4.) are there any tricks to making my penis feel big inside her (aside from different positions which is hit or miss for me)?

She's an attractive woman and has her choice of suitors, so I need to be on my best game. I don't exude insecurity, but in this department I def have it (although I don't outwardly exhibit it even during sex, as I know thats a turn off). Any advice will help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2014
Tue, 07-29-2014 - 5:56am

Hi

Sorry to hear you are so worried about this.

My current partner is probably about the same size as you and after a couple of things he said before we ever slept together I knew it was something he worried about and guessed that he probably wasn't very big but it didn't put me off at all. Like your girl I have never been short of suitors and since we had been friends for a while he knew this. Together with his lack of experience this worried him even more.

Anyway, I've had the best sex I've ever had with him and I've had plenty experience.

To try and answer your questions...

1) If she asks you to penetrate before she orgasms just go with it, you can hardly say no. Apart from anything else on days when I am very tired or stressed I won't orgasm whatever my partner does, some women never orgasm. No point forcing the issue.

2) It's pretty hard to get a girl to squirt I wouldn't be worrying about that when you're with someone new, I think it's something to work on as you build trust and experience and get comfortable with one another.

3) There is no reason oral would be any more boring than penetration... after all what ever position you are in penetration is basically the same. If you're comfortable with it you might like to suggest using toys, but that's not really a first time sort of conversation.

4) Lots of tricks... some that work for us:

i) to help me orgasm while he's inside me he or I with rub my clit, he'll suck/play with my nipples when he can reach - one of my favourite things

ii) if he finishes too quickly (not so much now but when we were first together) don't make an issue either carry on if you're lucky enough to be able to keep it up after orgasm (some can) or just go back to orally manually stimulating her until you can get erect again. If you're really worried about not lasting long enough m********* shortly before sex.

iii) positions... if you google "small penis sex positions" you will find loads of advice. I'm not so good at position names but here goes

    her standing bent over, legs together, you behind. Makes her very tight and you will feel big

    in missionary move your body up a bit that way you won't be going straight in and out which will cause more friction and if you'e     lucky your c*** with rub her clit, this is my favourite position the orgasms are mind blowing

    if you have a table or something she can lie or (or the edge of the bed). Spread her legs wide and you will be able to get as          deep as you can or you can hold her ankles together for the same effect as the standing position above. Edge of bed also gives great access for oral.

Every woman is different pay attention to her reactions and learn what she likes, THAT is what makes a good lover. The worst lovers are the ones who are selfish or assume all women like the same things. Even the biggest c*** can be rubbish if the man is selfish/not paying attention.

Overall the most important thing to remember is if she likes you and is a decent human being it's not going to matter to her. If it does matter to her find someone who will appreciate and deserve you. Try not to worry too much and just let things flow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2014
Tue, 07-29-2014 - 5:59am

I wouldn't worry so much, size isn't everything :-) try to learn what she likes...

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 07-29-2014 - 11:45am

 It is the lack of confidence ans anexiety about your performance that is the real problem. Women respond to your confidence.  This in part comes from your inexperience.  However, there are things to  that can change everything.   Getting in shape is the most important.  Enjoying the moment is another.  No two women are the same. They feel different .  So it is the totality of the sexperience ,not just one part.  

 

chaika