porn in secret????????
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porn in secret????????
| Wed, 10-06-2004 - 4:20am |
Does any1 have an advice????? I used to regularly watch porn films with my boyfriend and have sex whilst watching, but I put on 1 1/2 stone in weight and started to feel concious about my figure because all these women in the films are lovely,slim and gorgous, so I stopped and told my fella that I didn't want to any more.
I was cleaning up last week and came across a case in his office which is in the front room, he had forgotten to lock it, inside were at least 5 porn films. I put them back and didn't say anything, later I was playing on the x-box and found one of these films in it, he has been watching them in secret whilst I have been in bed or at work. I OBVIOUSLY FELT QUITE UPSET because he's going behind my back to do it. I asked him about the one in the x-box, who's dvd it was, he said he borrowed it off a friend because I said I no longer wanted to watch them, I asked if he had anymore and he said NO :-( why deny it, I am so confused.
I was cleaning up last week and came across a case in his office which is in the front room, he had forgotten to lock it, inside were at least 5 porn films. I put them back and didn't say anything, later I was playing on the x-box and found one of these films in it, he has been watching them in secret whilst I have been in bed or at work. I OBVIOUSLY FELT QUITE UPSET because he's going behind my back to do it. I asked him about the one in the x-box, who's dvd it was, he said he borrowed it off a friend because I said I no longer wanted to watch them, I asked if he had anymore and he said NO :-( why deny it, I am so confused.
Since then I have started to diet to make my self feel a little better about myself, also I watched a film with him and we had fantastic sex, but I know he is still watching the fims wwhen I go to bed because I had to come downstairs for a drink one night, and he quickly turned it off! I feel beetrayed, am I not good enough for him, I try to act like the girls in the films and he loves it, so why does he still watch them?????/

You told your guy that you didn't want to watch them anymore, you didn't say you didn't want him to watch them (at least in your post you didn't say that).
I personally don't think it's a healthy habit to use porn EVERY time you have relations anyway. It could very quickly become a crutch to sexual arousal, IMO.
And while I certainly don't condone his lying about it, I don't think it's only up to you to decide when and how porn will be used in your relationship. After all, you both used it and established this pattern together.
Talk with him honestly, if you haven't, and be honest about your reasons for feeling uncomfortable and then decide together what role porn will have in your relationship.
Edited 10/6/2004 1:19 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001