Position problems!
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Position problems!
| Thu, 10-06-2005 - 9:29pm |
I post on another ivillage board and I never thought I'd post on a board like this, but I've been having this awful problem and this looks like the perfect place to post about it! I have lost almost 47 lbs..I have 19 more lbs to lose until I am at my goal weight (and then like 5 more for my person goal weight) but my boyfriend (together for over a year--going to be engaged by Jan. 1st--he just wants the day to be a surprise) is 6'2" and 166 lbs (he's trying to gain weight and muscle..but he's lean and muscular built). So as you can imagine..sex can be interesting LOL. I was never comfortable with any position other than him on top, but now that I've lost so much weight and am so much smaller (and more athletic) he's really wanting to try other positions. I don't have a huge bottom, but every time we've tried doggie style, it doesn't work. I don't know if the angles are messed up or what, but we just can't figure out how to get it in from that way, if ya know what I mean? It looks so easy--but when we try--it just isn't working LOL. He's not super long but definitely not short, so I don't know if it's that. I have a slightly tipped uterus, so I am not sure if that's it too? Also, I've tried me on top in the past, but it seemed as though I could never get it in right and move right. I am thinking it was because I was so big before, maybe it'd work now? Does anyone have any advice? Any positions I could try that'd be friendly for a thicker person? Any ways to make the other positions I mentioned easier? We use 2 positions mainly and that's it..and I can tell he's getting bored and I do not want that! so any advice would be so helpful!
thanks,
Heather M. :)
thanks,
Heather M. :)

Even though sex is "theoretically" a natural thing, it takes practice! It takes time for two people to learn how to move together, to learn each other's hot spots, and to make it easy, not hard work.
There are literally thousands of positions, some work for some people, some don't. Check out the Kama Sutra!
For some reason many women have a problem with being on top. It has nothing to do with weight, size, agility or anything else. I think most women are just too self-conscious about it. There is nothing to it if you do it right. You don't squat and bounce up and down, trying to imitate his thrusting. Leave that to him when he's on top. You kneel, not squat. You get your balance, you lower yourself onto him, using your hand to guide him if that's necessary. When you're comfortable, you start moving your hips slowly and sensuously....in a circular motion, and/or thrusting your pelvis. Think of Elvis Presley! This way, you're rubbing your clitoris against his pubic bone (GOOD!) and if you get the angle right, you'll get some "g" spot stimulation, too. Once you get the hang of it, you'll love it. And so will he!
As for "doggie" style, maybe your butt is too high, or too low for him. Try different stances. Try kneeling on the bed. Try standing and bending over. Try getting your body higher or lower, and if you find the right height, it should slip right in. You can ALSO guide him with your hand!
Anyone can "have sex" but it takes time and effort to have GOOD sex. Practice makes perfect!
I agree with the others, it may just be the angle. Try leaning over the bed, on your knees, benidng over at the knees, or simply squatting onto him.
Also, make sure you are using some perosnal lube like astroglide. he may in the right spot, but your nervousness may be keeping it closed.
The first couple of times I tried doggie some years ago it didn't work so well either. Now I do it pretty often, although it's not my fave it is good if you want him to go super duper ultra deep sometimes. You sort of learn to stick your fanny out a bit -- it seems exaggerated and really vulgar at first but it really is the best way to think about it. A good way to do it is with your bum hanging off the side of the bed and him just standing there next to it, and he can hold your hips and "adjust" you to just the right height.
The only caution would be that if he has a big one, it can almost be too much of a good thing because it will go way in there, well past your cervix, and it's a slightly bizarre and super-intense feeling the first time you do it.