Post-Abortion Sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2005
Post-Abortion Sex
17
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 2:44pm

I'm not pregnant, but my boyfriend and I have decided* that it's what we would do if an unplanned pregnancy happens. And I recognize that while there may be emotional healing time afterwards, I'm interested in knowing how long the physical healing time is, re: intercourse. Assuming everything goes as planned and there are no complications with the procedure, how long does a woman have to wait after an abortion to have vaginal intercourse again?

*it's a first-date dealbreaker for me to not have agreement about the issue; for me, it's 100% necessary to have both of us feel the same way about abortion, morality of premarital sex, etc.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: perzy
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 3:08pm

I have no clue about when you can have sex after an abortion.


I was just wondering about *it's a first-date dealbreaker for me to not have agreement about the issue*.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2005
In reply to: perzy
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 3:45pm

Hey Tish,

I was going to post there, but I didn't want to seem frivolous or bother them away from their very personal discussions. They're talking about serious emotional issues, and I felt bad about just bounding in there and being all, 'Yes, but when can you hit the mattress again?'

"Is this something you actually talk to a guy about on your first date, whether or not he's for abortion?"

It is indeed. I plan on working in third world development with a focus on reproductive issues, and it's very important to me that my partner is in the same sociopolitical realm as me. As far as people's opinions changing, well, there's no planning for that, but in the end it's up to me, and I know what I'd need to do.

Anyway, does anyone know how long you have to wait after an abortion to have vaginal intercourse again?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
In reply to: perzy
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 3:58pm

Perzy

I am not completely sure about an abortion waiting period but after a miscarriage its 8 weeks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: perzy
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 4:07pm
I did a little net searching.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: perzy
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 4:46pm
I'm sure that it depends on what type of procedure is given and how far a long you are at the time of termination, etc. And it would likely be the same as with any surgical procedure, it would depend on how uncomplicated and smoothly it went. I would guess the healing time would be between 6-8 wks. though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
In reply to: perzy
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 7:40pm

I'm assuming your doctor would let you know when it would be safe to resume intercourse again. That would be who you should check with.

But I have to ask, why are you worrying about something that isn't even an issue at this point and probably won't be, if you've put as much thought into BC as you have into a hypothetical post-abortion sex life? I would think that it would vary from person to person as to when they are *emotionally* ready to resume sex, as well as the physical aspect. And I also would think that resuming your sex life after an abortion would be the least of your concerns at that point. I've had a few very close friends that have had them and sex was the last thing they thought about for awhile. Most of them had to deal the the changing landscapes of their relationship with the man and with their own emotions throughout the whole issue. One didn't have sex (or a real relationship) for well over a year. Another had to deal with a guy who said No Kids in the beginning, then changed his mind when it was a reality.

Get and use a couple of good, reliable methods of BC and then it's a non-issue. JMO.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: perzy
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 8:41pm

>>You also have to realize that what someone's opinion on abortion is can very well change if a pregnancy does occur. <<

I was going to mention that. I knew a girl that was similar in opinions to the OP. Convinced that abortion was plan A at that stageof her life, and she shared her views with her b/f's. She got pregnant and surprise, surprise, she had the kid.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
In reply to: perzy
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 10:28pm

I do not know the answer to your question, but if I was on a first date and the girl started bringing up social/political issues, even if I agreed with her, I would be sprinting toward the exit. That does not seem to be good "first date" conversation....but I have been out of circulation for several years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: perzy
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 11:56pm

I don't even believe the "gist" of this post! You're blowing off a serious issue of abortion, and you're worried about how soon you can resume sex after having one?

If your "field" is reproduction, and you intend to teach it to third world inhabitants, it might behoove you to teach yourself how NOT to get pregnant, and then it would be a moot point! Get on a reliable form of birth control, and you won't get pregnant.

If this is the kind of conversation you have on first dates....I would assume you have very few second dates! That discussion has to blow most guy's minds!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: perzy
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 12:44am

>>That discussion has to blow most guy's minds!<<

Yeah, it's not exactly the light and entertaining first date dinner table banter topped off with a little sexual innuendo and flirty conversation that we'd expect - but , that may not be the sort of guy that she's after, you know :-)

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