Post-Abortion Sex
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Post-Abortion Sex
| Tue, 06-21-2005 - 2:44pm |
I'm not pregnant, but my boyfriend and I have decided* that it's what we would do if an unplanned pregnancy happens. And I recognize that while there may be emotional healing time afterwards, I'm interested in knowing how long the physical healing time is, re: intercourse. Assuming everything goes as planned and there are no complications with the procedure, how long does a woman have to wait after an abortion to have vaginal intercourse again?
*it's a first-date dealbreaker for me to not have agreement about the issue; for me, it's 100% necessary to have both of us feel the same way about abortion, morality of premarital sex, etc.

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Edited 6/22/2005 7:57 pm ET ET by sweetmissmagnolia
Wow, okay. Firstly, of course I use birth control. Every time, all the time, at all times of the month. However, as we all know, even using a couple forms of the most reliable types isn't always perfect. I know that while I'm educated about this type of thing, and I've never had a slip-up, things DO happen. I'm aware that I could be raped, or the condom could be faulty, or the spermicide could allow a single swimmer through... there are always possibilities.
And as for the first date thing, well, I've been through that. I've tried the "I don't really read the newspaper or keep myself informed of political issues" guy, many times, and I couldn't hack it. I've also gone out with guys of radically different political beliefs, and those never flew either. The problem isn't that I need everyone to agree with me, honestly, but it's in those little moments, day-to-day, that kill it. When we're walking downtown and he scowls a little bit at a gay couple. When I get excited about a new condom distribution program at a local high school and I put down the phone because I know he's not going to share in my happiness since he disagrees so strongly that the pprogram should be in place. It's not that someone else's beliefs are wrong, or bad, or evil, or anything like that, but it's those little moments that erode the closeness, chip by chip, and it's not what I want.
I've never actually encountered a guy who was offended by a light political discussion on a first date. I usually start it as something like, "Oh, man, wicked thing on Crossfire today! Jon Stewart totally nailed Tucker Carlson! Did you see it?" And then it sort of builds its way up from there. It's never an accusatory thing, and it never feels like an interview or anything. I know that it's also not fair to the guy if he needs someone who's politically compatible and he's on the other end of the political spectrum as well.
I know that obviously sex isn't a big concern right away (which I've acknowledged), but I never regret having more information about potential things that could happen. The information I've found on the internet has been somewhat vague about the physical recovery time. So, anyway, my original question has been answered, and I thank the people who responded.
Some people just have to be obnoxious about preaching and receiving approving affirmation of whatever their "save the world" agenda or issue is.
If you are seriously posting HERE to inquire about how long you have to wait to have intercourse after a vacuum type device injures you from being used to kill a fetus, then you are either incredible dense or incredibly transparent in your phoneyness.
Having men be made to be in total agreement with you on these very emotional and political issues also reveals your complete lack of security and immature need for strength by numbers.
Good luck to you. Happy orgasms after the inevitable procedure.
I don't think that you should discuss abortion on the first date. Wouldn't that make some men run?
Yes, posting here, in the sex forum, about a sexual question. What nerve I have! I'm not going to get into it anymore, since you obviously haven't read my previous posts, but as for the offense you took, all I can say is that everyone has their own requirements as to what their partner needs to be. One of mine is that the guy has an open mind regarding sexuality, in all areas.
The question was asked and people replied. Hopefully I'll never need to know the answer, but I'm glad to know all I can.
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