Pregnancy and sex...
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| Wed, 04-13-2005 - 9:33pm |
1. I am pregnant. My SO and I have been having sex a lot lately. We do not live together, though, and every time or almost every time I go to see him, he is ready for sex or head. Before I was pregnant, we didn't have sex that much. Why is this? What's new? What's the difference?
2. My SO said that after I have given labor, he wants me to get a "love-stitch." What is this exactly? He said that after the baby, my vagina will be like "whoa" and that I will need to have it stiched up, to tighten it, I guess.
3. Do men find pregnant women to be attractive? I am 3 months and I am beginning to feel unsexy... unattractive... FAT. I don't see anything sexy about a belly sticking out. I want to be able to wear sexy clothes, too.
PLEASE ANSWER MY 3 QUESTIONS!!!

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1. A pregnant woman is arousing for some men.
2. Your SO doesn't know what he's talking about. After you give birth, your vagina will be the same as it always was (within a few weeks, not immediately). It will NOT be "like WHOA".....it will go back to the same size just like it does after sex. He needs to not listen to other men who obviously don't know what they're talking about either.
3. Some men find pregnant women sexy and attractive. There's no reason for you to feel fat, or unattractive....women can be at their most beautiful when they're pregnant. You'll wear sexy clothes AFTER your baby is born.
#1. I have no idea. You'll have to ask him. Probably something to do with the fact that he finds your fertility sexy, or that you're carrying "his" baby. He may also be enjoying watching your body bloom with pregnancy.
#2 I've never heard of a "love stitch". Sounds like an old wives tale to me. Your vagina is elastic and will go back to it's normal size after birth. I've had two kids, and I'm just the same as I always was.
#3 Absolutely! Many men find their pregnant wives very sexy. In your case, I think that your issue #1 shows that he finds you irresistable when pregnant. To be honest, when I was pregnant and dressed nicely (and not suffering from morning sickness!!), I did feel quite sexy. Sexy is a mind thing, not an appearance thing....try basking in his adoration instead of criticising yourself. Get out there and enjoy this time of your life. There are some fabulously attractive maternity clothes out there...go and treat yourself.
Probably about the only thing you may want to do is watch your weight gain.....if you make sure that you only put on baby weight (combined weight of baby, placenta, waters, milk etc) and don't get fat all over, you'll return to your normal size within a few months of birth. Keeping your weight gain in control will also ensure that you don't get stretch marks on your legs etc.
1) Maybe he's turned on by the fact that he "got you pregnant". Some men are strange in that way. There are lots of men who have a fetish for pregnant women, it almost sounds a bit like that. Guess it's ok as long as you're not starting to feel "used" or like an object. It's a thin line.
2) Absolute rubbish.
3) Pregnant is not the same as fat. A pregnant woman is the epitome of womanhood. Being able to bring new life into this world is something wonderful - people have revered women for the ability to do that. Be proud!!
Make sure you don't gain too much weight though because it will be hard to lose, and the more you gain, the more likely you are to end up with stretchmarks.
PS. If I was you, I'd check your SO's computer history to see if he has visited some adult sites that cater to those guys who have a fetish for pregnant women. He sounds a little obsessed (and ill-informed I must say!!). I would not be comfortable with that. You are a woman who's pregant, and it's great that he finds you desirable, but you're not a walking fetish. It just seems a bit "over the top".
1.
I second that sentiment, Tish.
Hightek, I hope you are being responsible with this pregnancy, particularly with the past issues you've shared here, and are receiving prenatal care.
In the meantime though, get your BF a biology book and educate him about the female body. The vagina was created as a birth canal and can accomodate all but the largest babies. A woman would only need repair work if her vagina is damaged in some way during delivery. In normal vaginal births, no "love stich" is necessary to return it to predelivery size.
Coach, your wife may feel different to you, but my DH says that I feel the same after 2 children. And our sexual experiences have actually improved after 2 deliveries.
OF course, there will be individual differences to take into account....vaginal size and elasticity and the size and number of babies delivered.
Every woman is different, but generally speaking, the vagina is meant to return to it's original size when allowed to fully heal.
It's funny to note that many men also claim that women feel looser after having sex for a while, actually believing that they've stretched them out with time!
What is really happening is that once women feel more relaxed and able to attain full arousal, that their vaginas open up more. The vagina collapses in it's unaroused state but opens up like a tube with full arousal.
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