Pregnancy and sex issue

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2005
Pregnancy and sex issue
4
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 1:59pm
I'm 20 yrs old, and my husband and I are expecting a baby. I'm 5 months and my husband hasn't seemed interested in sex since I became pregnant, we've done it a few times but he just doesn't seem into it. I'm afraid that's it's because of my changing body and that he might never regain interest. I love my husband and love sex with him, what can I do to get him interested again?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 2:05pm

I had that problem with my husband when I was pregnant with our first son. It wasnt because my husband was not interested, he was afraid he would hit our son in the head or hurt him, or cause me to go into early labor. I had to sit him down when we were both in good moods and talk to him about it and find out what was wrong. If thats what the case is, the next appointment you have with your OB have him come along and let your OB talk to him about his concerns with having sex with you.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 2:16pm

Hi Softshoulder,

We've had four kids so I know a little about the pregnancy issue from the male POV.

It's not that your husband isn't interested in you...in fact, the opposite is probably true. What happens to a lot of guys when their wives become pregnant is that they become hyper-protective. They think of their wives as these fragile creatures carrying this fragile baby. The whole issue of putting something into you that might harm the baby or you or whatever is somewhat abhorent to them.

The other thing that can happen, is that in their minds, you are now in a different role: you were, sexy-lover before, but now you've moved into a maternal role and he may be having a hard time reconciling sexy-lover with maternal-woman. The reality is that of course you are all those things, but men think compartmentally and it's harder for them to move move you into different roles. This can be tough for a woman to understand because women tend to think holistically, using both sides of their brains simultaneously. Men don't do that.

No matter what is going on here, talk with him alot and be aware that even though you are going to have the baby, both of you are going through changes during this pregnancy.

No worries this all pretty normal.
Congratulations on your Baby!
Scott.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 5:20pm

More than likely, he's operating under some false assumption about your body and the baby. This happened with our first when my DH was afraid of hurting the baby with penetration and thrusting. With the 2nd, he knew better and we were active right up to the end.

But at 5 mos. it's doubtful that your body has changed THAT much! Anything is possible though, so ask him to be honest about what he's feeling and talk it out. Education and understanding is the key.

Let him know that it's important to your relationship to stay intimate. The bonds you build NOW will keep you strong through the exhausting times and sleepless nights ahead!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2005
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 7:27pm
I want to thank everyone who wrote me back, it gave me some insight and made me feel alot better.